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submitted 1 month ago by Mattr@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world
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[-] MourningDove@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 month ago

Not really a crazy story, but:

I am exceptionally good at chess, and have zero recollection of ever having learned how to play it. No memory whatsoever of who taught me, or ever learning what the individual pieces do- let alone strategy.

And I don’t drink and don’t do drugs, so it couldn’t have happened during the blurry years many have.

[-] Bebopalouie@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 month ago

When I was around 6-7 years old (I am now 68) I was given money to get something at the store by my parents. All I remember is I no longer had the money when I got home . I did not spend the money. Have no idea what happened. Was razzed about it for years. They said I spent it on candy.

[-] dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Late in my high school career I got accosted by some dillweed in an empty hallway. I have no idea what his beef was, but what with my lifelong predilection for being an insufferable snarky asshole it's not tough to imagine pretty much anybody could potentially have a bee in their bonnet over something I said to them at some point, once they had a couple of days to ruminate over it and maybe look up some of the longer words. And for all anyone knew I was just some scrawny nerd who did calligraphy and played stupid card games. Easy pickings.

Anyway, this punk comes stampeding up to me while popping off at the mouth over how he's going to whoop my ass and I'm a bitch and this and that and the other thing. I figure I know what he's going to do. He's either going to do that braindead bully maneuver where he tries to crowd your personal space with his face 2" in front of yours while yelling and flapping his arms around behind and to the sides like a hysterial chicken, in which case I'm going to kick him smartly in the balls. That, or he's going to try to tackle me.

He tries to tackle me.

Since I saw this coming from a mile away I cut him off by grabbing him by the throat with one hand, roughly the belt with the other, used his own momentum to hoist him up onto one shoulder, and I swear upon my oath that I did a Shinkuu Nage on this motherfucker right over my head and threw him flat on his back onto the tile floor.

Pose at the end and everything. I couldn't resist. No one witnessed this except him and me. I wish I had it on video. And that was the end of that. Curiously, after this it seems he had suddenly run out of things to say. He elected not to get up. I left him there and walked away.

I did a lot of unwisely flamboyant kung-fu shit on people in my younger years, often to only middling success. But this was perfect, and I will probably never pull it off again so long as I live.

[-] Hadriscus@jlai.lu 1 points 1 month ago

that was cinematix as hell

[-] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 1 points 1 month ago

A few of my friends refuse to believe that a mutual friend who was my neighbour at uni was and is black and had family members visit from Jamaica. He was very white passing though.

[-] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 month ago

"Alien sighting"

Was watching a plane go along the night sky, blinking away as they do. Then it stopped moving but kept blinking for about 5 seconds. Then shot straight down to the horizon leaving a little trail of light behind like a comet or something.

Some star wars hyperspace bollocks or something

[-] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 1 points 1 month ago

Aircraft turned away from you while climbing away, making it appear stationary. Kick on some afterburners, and it'll take off like a bat out of hell in front of a 200' flame.

[-] boaratio@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

I went to a party at a friend's house (I had never been to his house before, we were just friends from college) and a bunch of people are in his hot tub. It was dark out. I decided to get in, and assumed the deck his hot tub was sitting on continued on behind the hot tub. It did not, and there was a roughly 6 foot drop on the back side. I walk over to get in, step off the deck accidentally, do a complete front flip and land on my feet. They all yell "Are you ok?" and then I get back on the deck completely unscathed.

No one that wasn't there ever believes this story.

[-] raldone01@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

That's a crazy story. I whish you good fortune in the future too.

[-] Zaphod@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 month ago

Was buying Pokemon cards 14 or so years ago. Was trying to buy a specific booster pack, but for some resaon I felt "dissociated" while my hand grabbed a totally different pack. I was so confused as to why I didn't pick the booster I initially wanted... When I opened the pack outside the shop, I was surprised to see there was actually a super rare Lvl X holo card inside...

[-] AceFuzzLord@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

This is gonna be absolutely crazy and coincidental since seemingly everyone here has a moose story, but my freshman year of highschool we had a bit of a lockdown because a moose wandered on campus. Our school was nowhere near a forest or any other area where it could have easily wandered over. Our school was pretty far in our pretty big city.

This is not me playing a bit because of all the moose comments. I thought it was a deer, until I asked my mom because I couldn't remember whether I was right or not. I only remembered it wasn't super serious, but we were told we couldn't go outside because of it and I think we were also told to stay away from the windows as well, as a safety precaution.

I was in the middle of English in the morning when this was happening.

Edit:

I don't remember how it got onto our campus and might look it up later. Might even leave another edit with how it got on campus.

[-] AlecSadler@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 month ago

...are moose dangerous? I am not well-versed on meese.

[-] CheeseNoodle@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Moose are one of those rare animals that might kill you just because they feel like it and are jerks.

[-] Kobibi@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 month ago

Yes, if only cos of how big they are

Most of the deaths they cause are being hit by cars, but sometimes the males can get aggressive

Just stay away from them and you're fine, but as rule don't fuck with something as big as a moose

[-] AceFuzzLord@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 month ago

IDK how dangerous they are, but given the fact there was a large wild animal on campus, I'd definitely treat it like a dangerous threat considering it probably almost never happens.

Also, last thing I'd want as the principal is to have to explain to parents why their idiotic children went to take pictures with a moose and got hurt because of it.

[-] Aneb@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

My school went on a soft lockdown and pulled people in gym class from the fields because a bear came on campus and was roaming in the parking lot.

[-] Fugit@piefed.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 month ago

Back when I was 17, I had a neighbor pull a gun right to my forehead. I shoved him away and said, in essence, "yeah, fuck you with your BB gun, I have some shopping to do". He shot another neighbor in the gut not long after. I avoided death by dumbfounding him in a way that sound like it comes right out a daydreaming teenage fantasy.

[-] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 month ago

I was the victim of a drive-by ketchupping.

[-] slazer2au@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

I had someone do a driveby breadding.

Walking down the street and some wanker throws a loaf of bread at me from his car as he drive past. The whole loaf, plastic bag an all.

[-] Hadriscus@jlai.lu 1 points 1 month ago

Were you able to mustard the courage to go after them?

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