Wait you actually get matches??????

EDIT: E Z glib reply aside though you're right that these things are hell. The nice thing abt being a communist and having an awful time on them, though, is that you have the tools to actually diagnose why they suck so bad and are less primed to take it personally (at least this is what I tell myself lol). I think I also became single during a period where they've reached new depths of enshittification, sounds like mb you're having a similar experience?

Isn't the entire point of the profile and matching system to filter incompatible people out?

They are a business and they have investors; their job is to keep you swiping right and left, not to get you a match, a date, let alone laid.

I feel like everyone treats this shit solely as an ego booster and actually gets pissed off that anyone tries to interact with them

For most people, this is basically it. You get on Tinder to see how hot you are, but you are really just fucking your friends friends, or going to bars or parties, or hilariously enough, fucking your coworkers.

I have have had luck going to fet life meetups. Everyone there is pretty much queer, nerdy and neurodiverget. I think they real important part is thst they are all people used to going to places. That part is I think the bit that could be extrapolated to general use. People used to swiping on apps are inclined to swipe on apps. Asking a swipe on app person to go out is an extra burden.

Dating apps have undergone enshittification just as much as any other social media platform. Even the ones that started with relatively good intentions and helpful mechanisms have, as they've dialed in toward profitability, made it harder and harder to actually discharge their supposed purpose. They're designed not just to keep you on the hook, but to entice you toward paying for premium features. I had some success on really niche online dating platforms back in the early 2010s, but all the ones that were actually good for meeting people have gone under in the last decade. The ones that are still here are, by definition, the ones that are making enough money to stick around; they don't do that by getting people off the platform.

As most other people here have said, the best way to meet people (either friends or romantic partners) is to volunteer or actively participate in an IRL hobby. Those are good because anyone you meet doing those things is someone you are guaranteed to have something meaningful in common with. Get involved with stuff you're passionate about. I know that's easier said than done for a lot of people, but I really do think pretty much everyone is much more likely to find success doing that than scrolling Tinder. I met my wife volunteering for an org that we both care about deeply, and it served as both a litmus test for character (we both knew that someone involved in this org had to at least have some redeeming qualities) and an immediate bonding point.

Honestly, it’s a numbers game- meaning you have to commit to it for an extended period of time and weave through all the awful matches before you finally hit it off with someone worth meeting up with

But +1 to all these other comments, online dating hasn’t always been this hard. Enshitification and endless commodification of everything and all that

Why can I match with 50 people and not a single one wants to get a coffee or something after exchanging a few pleasantries?

I would say that roughly half my matches never respond, and of the remainder 70% goes out with me after a day or two of making light conversation. I'm not pretending to like the Office or whatever either; my bio says I'm a leftist* / hobbies are XYZ / etc. What you see is what you get. I get very few matches but they are cautiously interested in me. However, I am a neurotypical guy, and I also do the legwork of suggesting a cute coffee/dessert shop in a convenient location for her. If you have gotten 50 matches they may be less interested in you individually to start with, or your conversation is putting people off. If you are consistently striking out at the small-talk stage, and you want to meet people through apps, you might want to show an honest friend some of your conversations and see if they think you're coming across weirdly.

But yeah dating apps suck, dating in general kind of sucks, meeting people in general kind of sucks. Try not to take it too personally.

*"communist" scares people. c'est la vie 🙄