Here's a 75mb joke:

There were 2 sperm, swimming along.

One says to the other one:

"We've been swimming for ages. How long until the egg yet?"

The other replies:

"The egg!? Oh. It's not for miles yet. We've only just passed the tonsils."

Edit:

This calculation is off by an order of magnitude.

The human genome has about 3.1 billion base pairs. Each sperm has half of that. Ignoring epigenetics, each base pair has four options (A/T/C/G), so it can be represented by two bits each.

All told, that’s 3.1 gigabits = 388 megabytes per gamete.

Oh, in that case then, I guess that's a 776mb joke.

That's why I always call it a packet storm. "Girl, I'm about to DDOS that booty."

So if I jerk off, I could use that to store porn, thus making me jerk off more, thus providing more porn storage…

Down load.

This calculation is off by an order of magnitude.

The human genome has about 3.1 billion base pairs. Each sperm has half of that. Ignoring epigenetics, each base pair has four options (A/T/C/G), so it can be represented by two bits each.

All told, that's 3.1 gigabits = 388 megabytes per gamete.

It's just a lot of copies of the same information. Not very efficient.

If you assume an average ejaculation distance of 9 inches and a nominal speed of 15 mph (this is apparently surprisingly well studied) - you get a data transfer rate of 46,500 TB/s.

I once joked I could jizz faster than my shitty internet connection. Guess I was right

This is why a big...hard...drive is important.

Trump enters the chat

How do they calculate that?