Here's your check, sir. Pay no attention to the 98% dickbag surcharge.

I can fix her

Weird way to spell "miss". Must be a miscommunication.

As an aside, I'm not calling anyone an Uber with their nutty pricing these days. Well, unless it's an emergency I guess. But as someone who doesn't drink, I'd rather DD than subject someone to those prices, myself included.

Plus, giving someone a ride home might give you a chance to see that you're the mess, not the other person.