A woman jumped while I was waiting for the train at my home station. It wasn't pretty...

Saw a guy on the SF Muni simultaneously solving two Rubik’s cubes, one in each hand. By the time he got off at the next station he was done with both of them.

I’ve had to administer noloxone twice on the subway (once was on the platform)

This particular blue wizard. Not my image, but he's a well known person that you can find image of him online.

Someone sprayed ME with a bottle of water. I was on my phone, and when i looked up this old lady was spraying water over her shoulder without looking and hit me directly in the face! When i asked what she was doing she walked over to me saying someone had cursed her, and her reflection in the window was facing the wrong way so she decided to spray "holy water" over her shoulder.

Thankfully after getting a COVID test done (this was in 2021 mind you) it was in fact just water.

Guy getting mad at the conductor for calling him sir because only a priest can be called that.......

Two things come to mind:

• Subway rolls up with an empty car and I was like, "these fools aren't on this sweet-ass empty car!!?!?"... yeah, dude taking a shit.
• Another being on the A Train, express, and stuck with mariachi band at full-tilt in a convenient 10-15min gap between stops.
• And one time we were the entertainment! Had to get the tree back to the apt, dragged that shit onto the train.

And people wonder why a lot of folks are uncomfortable on public transportation.

I was excited to ride on public transportation for the first time and immediately people were doing drugs right next to me and babbling incoherently. Yep, no, I'm good.

The one that stands out is someone on a call in a packed bus who started shouting "I didn't tell no one you got raped in prison!" into the phone repeatedly.

They made themselves a liar. Felt bad for whoever was on the other side of the line.

some guy sat across from me and started screaming at me how beautiful my boots were and what a removed i was. then went into this long story about how he'd be rich like me if his bitch mom hadn't stolen his dad's money. then he went on about his dreadlocks being beautiful and perfect and he'll cut anyone who calls it cultural appropriation.

nobody had said a word to this guy, he just went off for one stop then got off to change cars probably to go tell the same weird nutbag rant to the next subway car.

Got a few that come to mind:

Three young guys, I would guess in their early twenties, were being obnoxious in a silence compartment. Other people noticed but nobody went beyond casting disapproving looks. One of the boys defiantly started asking the other passengers one by one if they found the boys annoying. The first few people cowardly denied annoyance until one of them simply and firmly responded 'yes'. The boys had not expected this and just packed up and left. It was hilarious to see their faces, they had not expected that haha

In Spain, a ticket inspector addressed me in Spanish, which I don't speak. I tried communicating in English. Unfortunately the ticket inspector thought that I would magically start understanding Spanish if he increased his speaking volume. After a few rounds of this he was practically shouting at me. Luckily at that point another passenger joined in to translate and we managed to sort things out.

On the train from London to Edinburgh, an obligatory drunk randomly shouting Scotsman

I used to ride the CTA blue line into downtown Chicago for work. One of the other commuters who I saw regularly was as guy with a large patchwork hat that he clearly made himself. He also called a folding sign that looked like it was made of thin pieces of plywood. He'd be sitting and reading the newspaper when I got on, but when the train was getting close to down town he'd calmly fold up his paper and start getting himself worked up. By the time we got to Clark and Lake, the big transfer station, he'd be incredibly animated and ranting about God and the devil. He'd sprint off through the crowd the moment the doors opened

One morning when I got on the Stockholm metro there was a guy, bombed out of his mind, he had tossed his jacket in the middle of the floor, and was messing about with bottle caps with water and syringes.

No one made a sound (this is normal in the Stockholm rush hour), and I reached out through the SL app chat feature to inform the security center about the situation

I told them that a poor guy on the train clearly needed help, didn't speculate, but informed them about what I could see, told them what train it concerned and where on the train the guy was and gave a description of him.

Two stops later two security guards boarded the train and quickly lead him out, no screaming or disruption at all.

I don't know what happened to the guy after that, but I was careful to stay neutral yet concerned for the guy's health, and I hope he finally got the help he needed if not wanted at the time and is doing much better now.