I like to "annoy" people whith small "things" that are insignificant "alone" but add up over "time". Kind of like "overusing" quotation marks in "posts" and comments.

I hate to have my time monopolized. I hate having things sprung on me where I have to make a decision between saying yes, and doing something I don’t want to do, or saying no, and feeling like shit for refusing somebody’s request.

I also hate people who are inconsiderate

I tend to overreact and become rude and defensive when a situation takes an unexpected turn.

The sudden lack of control makes my brain go haywire instead of calmly trying to work around it, or just accepting that I was being overconfident/too greedy about the outcome.

It's not too much of a problem nowadays, but when I'm feeling down the threshold is lower and it can lead to some awkward interactions that make me feel bad afterwards.

But it also taught me not to take people being rude to me as personal (when there's no reason to).

Lots of people are extremely selfish.

I'm resentful to people who have done me wrong. I avoid those people until they apologize to me or I'm told some kind of drama from there past, which explains their behavior. My behavior hurts me more then anybody else and I'm working on changing myself.

Other people often seem like they don't acknowledge the good or bad stuff happening in another persons life. E.g. ignoring the daily strain a loved ones death leaves on somebody. They know it happened, but they expect the affected person to be fully functional.

I can be manipulative to people close to me.

Via emotional blackmail, and going as far as being outright insulting and abusive to people the closer they get to me. I use it like a test of their loyalty to me. If they pass I up the amount of abusive manipulation.

I treat people as either Angels or Demons. There's no in-between. I treat you like shit and you call me out? You're fucking DEAD to me and I will scorch earth you're existence from my life. Say sorry the next day? I'll put myself into debt buying you gifts and days out.

I know the bad things I do are wrong and I HATE doing them. It's a compulsion. I "cut my nose off to spite my face" as they say.

I used to self harm and send pics of the wounds to people close to me for attention. I once told my mother I wished I was aborted and demanded she choose her favourite leg gash from a set or I'd do more cuts.

You may assume from this comment I'm a teenage girl...?

I'm not. I'm a middle-aged man who now has no friends (go figure). I was diagnosed with EUPD/BPD about 6yrs ago and still struggle to get over these 'dark qualities'. Most of the above has been done right up into my mid-30s. At 40 I'm now 100% alone with my former dealer being the closest thing to a friend I can point to.

However, I've quit meth and have to become 'normal' and learn to treat people better. Well, I know HOW to and I've even had therapy on managing my emotions. However, I'm literally petrified of making any close friends because of what I've been like in the past. I don't want to inflict myself on people.

My dark side: I feel disengaged in my duties, I tend to flee away from teamwork and skip deadlines, especially when the workflow is stressful. Of course, mates hate me for that :(

Others' inconsistencies I see: tendency to make careless decisions without thinking twice, or miscommunication (incorrect wording) of intended actions, especially in programming and/or designing things. Also, not admitting an expectation to get some sort of reward/compensation when giving things for free.

Example:

• A: You gave me this, thank you! What can I do/buy to you in return?
• B: No need, thank you.
• (one year later)
• B: I gave you that, so I want you to do something in return.
• A: You told me I'm not obliged to repay you!
• B: You should've understood it by yourself!
• A: ...(Reimu mode activated)

Jokes aside, I am generous but this unspoken liability pisses me off.

I'll put it this way; see people constantly use human nature as an excuse for negative actions and you too will creep towards a more calculative personality. That is the raw gist of both parts of the question for me.

I don't know if this qualifies (probably doesn't) but When I meet a new person, I like to act like a smart guy at first and then act like a moron afterwards. It feels nice for some reason.

I was poor in the developing world for years. Not begpacker fake poor. I had immigrated, put every dime into my business, and it took 3 years to make more than about 50 cents an hour after hard costs. There was no going back, so I went all in.

Let me tell you, it erodes at your humanity. One day, there's either nothing left, or something cold and hard and hungry. If it's the former, you're done for. If it's the latter, you are something else now, and it never stops being hungry, and it never goes away.

It just burns in you, like a flame, like an effigy.

Like a sacrifice.

If you know anything about Jung's shadow, please come forward and chime-in

Is there no psychology community on Lemmy yet or something?