I have IBS, which is admittedly one of the 'easier' chronic conditions to deal with, I imagine.

But about fifteen years ago it flared up with an intensity I wouldn't have thought possible, and at that time everything in my life was falling apart. Lost my job, was back living with my parents and my mom was dying.

But I still put myself out there as an outlet, not looking for commitment. The woman I started seeing encouraged me to get on public assistance and get checked out.

Turned out I had a hernia complicating my IBS and one simple surgery later I was able to start rebuilding.

Don't decide for yourself that nobody should have to 'cope' with you and your reality. Theirs may be just as weird and maybe you'll find what you need.

I did. Married almost a decade, have a home and lots of pets, and I work from home. Not a perfect life at all but better than I'd thought I'd have.

I understand why you feel that way and I'm sorry you're going through this. I think as long as you're honest and open about what's going on, ultimately it's up to them to decide. I feel you can have a wholesome relationship even with some limitations. If my current partner got sick, it wouldn't be a burden to me and I would definitely not want her to feel bad for it. We would always find a way. U got this bro!

I met my husband before my chronic pain started, but married him a few years in. He appreciates what I bring to his life (love, laughter, not being lonely anymore) so much that doing things to help me around the house is really not a problem for him. I do also have a scary disease diagnosis, but we're hopeful that major symptoms will hold off for a while. It's tricky for you emotionally, but for the right partner, it's really not as big a deal. I try to think about how much It bothers me to help my husband when I'm feeling okay (not at all), and if it would make me want to leave him if he got a scary diagnosis (not at all) and realize it's the same thing for him.

Therapy definitely has helped me work through these thoughts in the past year as well, so I definitely recommend that. I do it online through a local therapist who does it over a telehealth visit.

That sounds like a lot to deal with, and it sounds like you're dealing with it alone. I'm sorry to hear that. I wonder if any of the doctors you are seeing could suggest a support group, or if there are some online you might like. Lemmy seems great (I'm new) but not necessarily super active.

If thinking about getting into a relationship is causing additional stress, it might not be a bad idea to hold off. It is absolutely possible to find a fulfilling relationship with chronic pain/chronic illness, but it's difficult to do so when you're not in a great place mentally.

Have you looked into telehealth/virtual therapy appointments? There's betterhelp, though I don't think they work with insurance, and you might be able to find an in-state provider who would do telehealth. I would advise sending out some emails to providers in your state and seeing who might be open to telehealth.

I wish you all the best. I have many relatives with chronic pain/chronic illness who have been able to find partners who understand. It is possible. For the moment, though I can't imagine how difficult it is, do what you can to help yourself.