"And on a scale of green smile to red angry face, how would you rate your experience here at Beardrenched so far?" The human baby glowers back ominously. It feels nothing about seeing the bodies. It feels horrified recalling the ghastly glow of the spectre emerging from the wall.

The silence drags on. Above their heads a hideous scraping sound and the too-familiar wailing of a creature in agony rises to fill the awkward space. The census taker shifts in place, as if looking for an exit.

"Gahgah," the infant finally offers, and gestures at the furious red visage.

The dwarf nods. "Thank you for participating in our mood survey. The Hammer of Reason appreciates your feedback." The creature above shrieks and there is a hollow metallic clattering sound as the items trapped in its chamber are thrown haphazardly into the wall.

"These humans appear poorly adapted to life in the depths," the record keeper murmurs to no one in particular, now seated in their office. Surveying the stack of mood reports it's immediately obvious that no dwarf has reached the red yet, all the worst moods are human. "You'd think the infant could have learned, though."

Isn't there a book about humans in the library? My Thoughts On The Human or something? Maybe we should consult it, see if anything can be done for the guests. Selling their possessions to caravans after they die is demoralizing the remaining cave divers. Apparently humans consider that disrespectful.

A naked humanoid lopes past the doorway, hotly pursued by a fleeing draltha and a gaggle of angry humans. The lead warrior, a scarred bald woman brandishes two hefty volumes, one in each hand. She throws one, Happenings: Principles and Practice at the troglodyte to no effect. The baby wails in fury as it is carried into the fray by its mother, who attempts to bludgeon the naked caveman with her flail.

Down the hall someone yells "Death is all around us! I feel very uneasy!"

With a thud and a click from the shale door the office is closed off from the carnage happening outside. The dwarf returns to their seat and sighs heavily. "It was inevitable," they mutter as they return to their work.

Almost done with my year, it's been an eventful one. Can't wait to share all the happenings.