I sold blow-pops (suckers surrounding bubblegum on a stick) for $0.25 in junior high (1986?) [bought them at PriceClub now CostCo?]. Chaos ensued on the playground. My mother got called to the Asst. Princ. office.

This isn't my story it was a friend, but I think about it often and it still makes me laugh. It was high school English class and the teacher asked "does anybody know the famous quote from 'The Elephant Man'?" and without missing a beat my friend put his arm in front of his face like and elephant trunk and made a loud and accurate elephant noise while slowly waving his arm up. Everybody thought it was hilarious except for the teacher who sent him to sit in the hall for the rest of the period. So he's sitting out there and 5 minutes later the door opens and another kid comes out and my friend is like "what did you do wrong?" and the other kid goes "I couldn't stop laughing"

Which is fucking great. Gets me every time.

Eating chips in a class we were allowed to eat in. Other kids were eating when I got sent to the office and I got in more trouble for pointing that out. Painting my nails. I was told to stop, asked to go to the bathroom, and got in trouble when I came back with my nails fully painted. And in a situation where the whole class was told to be silent, but the teacher refused to look at any of us, I noticed someone (who was the type that never got in trouble) was pretty impatiently waving her hand around, so I told the teacher she needs something and was sent to the office. OH now that I'm writing I'm thinking of more. Some kid groped me in the middle of the cafeteria and I was scolded for pushing the issue because "he's a good kid who was just "being silly" and these kinds of things can really follow someone ya know." He later spent time in prison. And there was a girl who was a huge bully that I told to stop picking on someone who was afraid of getting hurt (I truly had a death wish, the girl was 3x my size) and she threatened to jump me in the bathroom. She harrassed me for weeks and I definitely aggravated the situation because I refused to be intimidated. I'd announce when I was going to the bathroom, tell her nows your chance etc. I was asked to leave her alone bc if she were to get into another fight she would be sent to juvie. She is currently in prison. Really backwards logic in that school

I absent-mindedly hummed the theme to Coach (a 90s sitcom) during class in which the teacher was a football coach.... He sent me to detention for it.

1. I cursed on a merry go round while in 4th grade with kindergartners on it. All the other of my supposed peers were "absolutely shocked and appalled" I cussed in front of kids who hear more curse words at home. Side note, I was the school pariah everyone picked on, I've heard these shits say worse things in front of younger kids.
2. A teacher threatened me to take off my trench coat in high school. He looked like he was going to physically assault me while wearing it, one of the shit head gym teachers, and I asked him why. Told "That's not the question you should be asking right now." He apparently reported it to the principal who just walked up to me at lunch while wearing it, opened it up and said "No guns." Then left. I think the principal knew why I was dressed like that, the gym teacher was a fucking asshole.

I needed to pee. I had to bring a doctor's note saying that, yes, I needed to pee.

When I was in NYC schools, I used to play with rubber bands, and I'd fold paper into tiny "bullets" and I'd "slingshot" them at things for fun... I mean, I was like probably 9 years old and smartphones weren't even a thing yet and I had no DS like some rich kids in my class did (early 2010s for context). So, anyways, I was messing with ciphers with another kid, and we were in the same grade and same class in the afterschool program we went to, so we'd kinda pass notes to each other using the cipher, by slingshotting the piece of paper.

So I was nearsighted. I can't aim properly. I was trying to aim like at that kid's desk, I accidentally hit the staff/teacher/volunteer (idk what he even count as, don't think they are officially licensed teachers, it's some non-profit program and there were a bunch of volunteers, probably doing it as community service hours for college or something)... dude got mad at me and I got in trouble, and because I was in a foreign country, I felt very vulnerable, I felt scared, and I just cried...

The other time was like in a different afterschool program. I think it was like 3rd grade, and they played some holiday music around december, I remeber it feeling very like Christmas... but anyways, idk what happened, I think the music just triggered my sensory issues or something (I have no diagnoses of anything btw), so I just felt this sudden urge... so I went up to the smartboard thing and turned down the volume. The white lady teacher got so pissed at me, she marked my behavior chard to red (I think I remember she was also my homeroom teacher, so she had control over the behavior chart thing), red is the worst, yellow is a warning, green is good behavior.

It wasn't even official class time, it was afterschool. Why does behavior outside school hours even count?

So I couldn't go on school trips until I "behaved" again.

Like...

I just cried...

Yes I cried very often...

I was a scared little kid in a foreign country and had no idea wtf is going on.

I remember being excluded from a lot of trips, and have no clue wtf was happening around me.

Like... seriously I didn't even damage anything... the music was just hurting my ears... my sanity...

Why yell at a 9 year old child that doesn't even speak much English?

Fucking karen.

So I kinda just feel very intimidated by teachers from that moment on.

I think I vaguely remember a few dreams in my late teens, like way after my family left NYC, where I remember, in the dream, being trapped in an elementary school classroom, from where I was waking up so anxious...

Changing a monitor's resolution from 1024x768 to something useable.

It was in elementary school. We had a multiple choice test and we had to check the circles next to the right answers with an x.

Instead, I put smiley faces in all the right circles and "frowny" faces in the wrong ones and was very proud of the whole sheet. I didn't really get into trouble, but the teacher was mildly upset and I think I had to go over it to do it the "right" way :(

Being literally a few seconds late to sit down when the bell rang and getting suspended by the racist teacher.

In 6th grade, I got in trouble for putting gum in my mouth before the bell rang. It was maybe 15 seconds before the bell. The idiot teacher called my mom in to discuss it.

In the sixth grade I got my first detention ever because I picked up my baseball cap.

We were on a field trip and we went to visit some museum in the capital by train. While we walked back to the train station, our teacher stated that "no one is to step out of the train before her permission or they will get detention". I was the last to get on the train and my cap hit the backpack of the classmate in front of me and fell out of the train doors. I instinctively turned around, leaned out whist holding onto a safety bar and picked my cap. And stepped back on board.

I was a calm kid and had never broken any school rules or gotten into any trouble whatsoever. So when my classmates saw me putting one feet outside the train they simply flipped: "TEACHER, LORINDÓL STEPPED OUT OF THE TRAIN! YOU'RE GETTING A DETENTION!"

I was utterly dumbfounded. My "friends" had betrayed me and the teacher was approaching and looking angry. With tears in my eyes I explained what had happened and reminded her that we still had more than 10 minutes until the train doors would even close. Her face went from angry to sad and she silenced my heckling classmates with a few strict words. She told me that we would discuss this when we were back at school.

When we got back, everyone else got to go home and the teacher asked me to our classroom with her. "Lorindól, I'm very sorry. I have to give you detention because you did step out of the train, even if it was for all the right reasons. I understand you acted instinctively and did not mean to break any rules. But I must keep my word or it will lose it's meaning. As stupid as this sounds, the purpose of this detention is not to punish you. It's purpose is to show the others that my word is the law in this classroom, with no exceptions. I hope you can understand why I must do this." I thought about it for a while and said that I did.

When I told my parents about the detention my dad couldn't stop laughing. "You finally get a detention and it's for NOTHING!"

Mom was so angry that she wanted to call the teacher and make her call the detention off. I managed to talk her out of it and didn't hold any grudge against the teacher. I learned a lot about the world of adults that day.

I was in 5th grade during George W. Bush's stint as governor of Texas in the 90s. He did a bunch of "education reform" there that was the predecessor of the No Child Left Behind Act he championed as President. I was in a relatively good school but despite that, we were learning about nouns and verbs for the first time that year.

The teacher was an idiot and we would get dozens of worksheets that covered the same topic. For the nouns and verbs section, we would read through a paragraph and had to write all the nouns in one column and all the verbs in the other column. When the test came, it was the same as the worksheets but the teacher changed the columns to verb/noun, which I didn't read and I got a 0 for the test.

I went to the teacher and told her that it was an honest mistake and showed her how I aced all the other assignments, so I obviously understood the concept. She was insistent though that I got a zero despite that. However, because of the new Bush educational policies, students had the right to retake any assignment for the minimum passing grade.


So I asked her to retake the test, she said ok, and I crossed out Noun and wrote Verb and and same to Verb to Noun and handed it back. She immediately wrote another large zero on the page because I couldn't change that part and I lost recess privileges for the rest of the week for being "rude".

Revenge came though several weeks later when she was hanging black plastic sheeting on the suspended ceiling to create a makeshift planetarium in corner of the room. She was on a tall ladder and when she was putting up the last sheet, she lost her balance and fell through the sheeting and off the ladder and broke her arm. She was crying out for someone to help her but me and the other kids just let her struggle for a few minutes before she freed herself by tearing through the plastic sheet like Ace Ventura escaping from the rhino, crying.