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[-] _cryptagion@anarchist.nexus 36 points 4 days ago

why would you tell an app that you masturbated?

[-] YurkshireLad@lemmy.ca 21 points 4 days ago

“Congratulations on reaching level 17!!”

[-] _cryptagion@anarchist.nexus 21 points 4 days ago
[-] MagicShel@lemmy.zip 8 points 4 days ago

My streak has been going since 1984.

[-] Bluegrass_Addict@lemmy.ca 15 points 4 days ago

same reason people feed all their finances to random companies for who have 'budgeting applications' or 'fitness trackers'

Think of the metrics! distribution by hour, day of week, month, times per day/ week/ month, holidays, workday, weekends, etc etc.

[-] joelfromaus@aussie.zone 15 points 4 days ago
[-] Cricket@lemmy.zip 13 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

[Stonks! meme but it reads Spunks! instead]

Edit:

Think of the leaderboards!

[-] joelfromaus@aussie.zone 5 points 4 days ago

This male loneliness epidemic could get very competitive. Doctors around the country reporting genital friction burn with patients saying they’re shooting for the moon in the Competitive Coomers Leagues.

[-] Kolanaki@pawb.social 5 points 4 days ago

The top 3 or 4 people would obviously be hackers with their score being 32 hours in a single day.

[-] MagicShel@lemmy.zip 5 points 4 days ago

The trick is to log all your activities separately. One 8-hour session can net you 8 hours of wank, 8 of nipple play, and 8 of anal play. I learned that trick from a consultant in '98, but he just did it with customer hours.

[-] _cryptagion@anarchist.nexus 2 points 4 days ago

gonna be real honest, it's the metrics I don't wanna know about. 🤣

[-] kronusdark@beehaw.org 29 points 4 days ago

Maybe... we have too many apps now.

[-] Bluegrass_Addict@lemmy.ca 17 points 4 days ago

now? it's been too many since people collectively stopped calling them programs and instead started calling them 'apps'

[-] zaubentrucker@sopuli.xyz 10 points 4 days ago

It must have been vital for the operation of the app to keep this data on a server somewhere

[-] Kolanaki@pawb.social 9 points 4 days ago

That's one way to get users to quit porn, I guess.

this post was submitted on 28 Jan 2026
65 points (100.0% liked)

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