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[-] belated_frog_pants@beehaw.org 4 points 6 days ago

Wear a helmet

[-] AnchoriteMagus@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago

Only steal from those who can afford to lose what you're taking, don't steal from houses while the homeowners are home, don't take items necessary to someone's well-being (medications, assistance aids).

There are plenty of things that you can take / sell on for money that will cause a minimum of harm to your victim. Losing their flat-screen or Playstation won't hurt them, losing their insulin or the pile of personal papers they had in that drawer will.

[-] PowerCrazy@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 week ago

don’t steal from houses

This is literally all you need. You shouldn't be fucking with people's houses.

[-] Batmancer@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago

Seriously, you could die, accidentally cause a death or traumatize someone, possibly a child.

[-] tyler@programming.dev 4 points 1 week ago

Those things could hurt them, if they’re depressed and using them to cope. Maybe the PlayStation has photos they’ve never backed up on them, of a deceased parent or child. Maybe the PlayStation was a deceased child’s.

Honestly, extra cash in a drawer is the only thing you could reasonably take, and only if you took less than half of it.

[-] BaraCoded@literature.cafe 11 points 1 week ago

You rob only people Luigi would luigise.

[-] dumbass@piefed.social 9 points 1 week ago

be polite, rob your victim in a safe and careful maner and most importantly always make sure to get a copy of the signed and notarised consent form.

[-] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

We're joking but DB Cooper famously very politely robbed a plane

[-] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 5 points 1 week ago

Persuade your crazy mate to change his name to "robbery" and then report him for being crazy so he gets committed to an insane asylum

[-] DemBoSain@midwest.social 5 points 1 week ago

Always leave a list of the items you've taken for the victim's insurance purposes.

[-] comfy@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 week ago

Actual answer: be a professional penetration tester

Former jewel thief Larry Lawton robs Executive Cigar, Florida, skip the first 1:20 if you want

[-] comfy@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 week ago

Remember to put it back after you're done with it, so someone else can use it later.

this post was submitted on 09 Feb 2026
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