Thanks, I'm keeping that in mind.

I had a doctor at the hospital few years ago tell me she thought it was likely I had BPD, but she wasn't able to give me a diagnosis I believe because at the time I was exploring whether I had autism and/or ADHD. While I did end up getting diagnosed by a psychologist for both, I'm starting to wonder if it was a misdiagnosis the more I read into BPD, and how much it feels like a hammer hitting a nail on the head.

I remember looking into it at the hospital and seeing the things people online would say of BPD, and it destroyed my mental well-being the next day or so before I saw the doctor again. I've always feared becoming my father, and reading about all the abuse people have had at the hands of people with BPD, and how universally hated people with it seemed to be, it was like I was hit by a car.

She thankfully told me there's people that get diagnosed who take out their emotions on the rest of world, which is what you hear of so often, and those that turn that inward, and constantly beat themselves up, which is more my experience. At least, that's what I hope is true seeing that I question and doubt myself so often.

Thanks for the help.

Would like to point out though that the BPDlovedones community shared is for those who have faced abuse by those with BPD. While people deserve to have their own spaces to talk about those experiences, they don't tend to welcome those who have BPD, and seeing that kind of content can feel stigmatising when you don't engage in the behaviours they've been a victim of.