7
submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by chrischryse@lemmy.world to c/relationship_advice@lemmy.world

I’ve been dating this amazing women for a few months then recently got into a relationship a few weeks ago, but she’s more sensitive than I am. I’m more laid back and don’t let things bother me and love dark offensive humor for shock value…she’s the opposite doesn’t like certain things said and say gets offended if I jokingly flip off (which I do to people I’m close to as a sogn of ironic love) for example. However our core beliefs like politics, religion, and personalities align for most part.

I’m not sure if this type of incompatibility is bad though and worried things might not last or how I can keep it. She did say she’s fine with me still being my full self around others I’m friends with just not her. Am I walking on egg shells?

top 2 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] Vibi@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 month ago

This might be a question you'll need to sit and ask yourself 🩷 I'm similar to her - I don't enjoy people cursing, being vulgur, or being loud around me. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable. A few years ago I opened up to my friends about my feelings - they chose to understand and respect my feelings and those behaviors stopped around me. We all care for each other and accommodating the things we're sensitive to is one of the ways that we show our love to each other.

At different times I've thanked them for making those adjustments around me and most of them were thankful I felt comfortable enough to express myself. One of two also mentioned that they learned a bit more about themselves and reflected on why they behaved in certain ways. They shared that cursing, being apathetic, and dark humor were behaviors they picked up when they were growing up to fit in, but they didn't actually align with the people they wanted to be.

I feel like as long as you're both comfortable communicating you can most likely work through this; maybe reflect on why you act a certain way - what reactions are you attempting to pull from people, and then try to find ways to get those reactions from her in a way that connects with her 🩷

[-] cabbage@piefed.social 1 points 1 month ago

If you're gonna have a relationship, that means making some effort to make each other feel comfortable. Giving up on being vulgar is not a huge sacrifice - if anything it might be good to learn to make do without vulgarisms, as it tends ds to be an easy way out rather than very valuable interaction.

If it feels like too much of a sacrifice for you then that's probably a bad sign for the relationship. You need to be willing to make an effort, and she needs to feel both comfortable and heard around you.

Give it a shot I'd say. In either case there's no relationship without making an effort. :)

this post was submitted on 23 Mar 2026
7 points (100.0% liked)

Relationship Advice

3372 readers
2 users here now

Welcome to the Relationship Advice community on Lemmy and Kbin!

The ideal place to ask for help with your relationships: romantic, friendships, we don't know what we are yet, co-workers or just human interactions in general.

Please make sure you read our rules before posting.

Rules:

Rules can be clicked on to be expanded.

1: Treat all users with respect. [!]

The goal of this community is helping OP and readers, not making fun of them. We are an inclusive community, any sort of disrespect towards ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, etc, will not be tolerated.

2: Mark sexual content as NSFW. [!]

Posts containing mentions or descriptions of sexual topics must be tagged as NSFW. This includes descriptions of sexual acts, requests for advice in the bedroom, explicit descriptions of your body and similar content.

3: All posts must be a request for advice.

All posts must be phrased as a request for advice or as a question. Sharing of stories, personal anecdotes, or past mistakes are only allowed if they're followed by a clear and relevant request for advice with the situation.

4: Provide sufficient and relevant information.

Your title and body need to contain enough information relevant to your situation, such as ages, genders, and the relationship between people mentioned. For privacy-related concerns, we recommend using fake names and broad general locations.

5: Comments must be on topic and relevant to OP.

Comments must be directly related to helping OP, asking for more information, providing relevant resources or otherwise relevant to the thread. Off-topic comments and remarks, suspicious attempts at gathering personal data from OP or other readers, or bullying will not be tolerated.

6: This is a community for requesting advice, not moral judgement.

Moral judgements, "AITA?" and other similar questions are better served by different communities.

Reddit reposts are allowed.

As a temporary measure and the result of a poll, Reddit reposts are allowed following an expanded set of rules: https://lemmy.world/post/317115

How are rules enforced and bans applied?

For the most part, this community operates under the assumption that users are acting in good faith and should be given second-chances for their mistakes. Posts and comments with very light rule violations, or otherwise undesired but mostly harmless content, can be removed by a moderator on a case by case basis without any further punitive actions.

For violations of our rules, we follow a “3 strike” system as follows:

  • 1st violation: 72 hours ban + moderator warning via PMs.

  • 2nd violation: 1 week ~ 1 month ban + final warning via PMs.

  • 3rd violation: 1 month ~ permanent ban.

The goal of this system is making sure users are made aware of their behavior before being permanently banned, but also protecting the community from any rule violations.

Exceptions:

While the “3 strike” system will be applied to the majority of situations, rules marked with a [!] in the sidebar signifies a rule that, if violated in an intentional, malicious or significant way, can warrant an immediate permanent ban regardless of the number of previous violations. This includes severe disrespect to users or groups, dangerous content, and similar.

Related communities:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS