Picking up a new language is much easier if you use the Comprehensible Input method, which is fun and easy. It's essentially learning language like a child learns. You watch videos that are 100% in the target language. In the beginning, they are super easy, with lots of props, gestures, and other context that helps convey the meaning of the words. As you pick up more and more, you watch more difficult videos. It's amazing how fast you pick up the new language. In about 3 months I learned enough Spanish to give me around 80%+ comprehension of normal conversation, and better comprehension if the person spoke slowly and clearly. Don't count out learning a new language, as it is a lot easier than you might think if your only experience is with traditional methods.

Most Americans I know who moved here (Norway) did so after landing a job that they then moved here for. Moving here and then trying to find a job is a great method for going broke in a couple of weeks.

Plus, lining up a job beforehand makes the visa ordeal easy.

You need to keep working on language. It takes a lot of time to learn your first non-native language and then gets easier. As with anything, language-learning is a skill that can be learned.

That or limit yourself to english-language countries. I can't stand people who move somewhere, never learn the language, etc. Japan has a ton and the government is finally adding language requirements to some statuses (though some of the worst offenders are English teachers who will not have any such restriction)

Most countries that you would probably label as "acceptable", will accept you without any problem as a US citizen provided that you get a stable job.

It's that easy.

Australia and New Zealand have a points based immigration system that you can check online. That would be the first place I'd look.

If you can get an employer to sponsor you, Europe is nice. In the Nordics if you stick to a capital city, you should have no problem using english for almost anything, and for everything else, there are translation apps.

A social worker would probably have to learn the local language anywhere they go, it's a less transferable profession imo.

You could always start by teaching English in another country. I recall that it pays quite well and is in demand in many countries. The requirements are also very low.

As for learning another language. You get better at it when you're around it constantly.

I think this is both easy on the sense that there are a lot of feasible options, and difficult in the sense of selecting the most suitable one for you. English alone opens up many places to you. But besides language, culture is a major factor. I remember a story about immigrants in Finland feeling excluded and had difficulties building social relationships. But in Finland, even the locals don't have so many local friends. So, the way of life is just not suitable to many.

Other than that, try to see this not only as a negative thing, but also as an opportunity. Don't just ask where you would do okay, but include questions like where you would feel comfortable.

Final thought: often the "most popular option" is not necessarily the best. In Europe, many countries that are not Germany or France are nice, sometimes the QoL is even higher. So, consider Austria besides Germany, for example.

Not technically an American but lived in America for a long time, also not eligible to claim citizenship anywhere. I hope I'd be somewhat qualified to speak on this

There really aren't that many countries which are a step up for an American IMO. Probably a good number of the EU/EEA countries, places like Canada/Australia/NZ, and mayyybe places like Singapore and a few more... Fewer if you have a strict limit on English, in that case maybe only places like UK & the Nordic countries; maybe also the Netherlands, but I've heard mixed information about language requirements there. This is a pretty short list, so I think you could probably have a passing knowledge of all of their basic immigration processes without spending that much time on it. But yeah you are right, for any expat/immigrant wannabe it usually goes like this:

Winning the "life lottery" (ancestry, asylum, or a literal lottery like the US) -> "Buying" your way in via Golden visa -> Love knows no borders so marriage -> Workers visa, aka getting sponsored to work

The first three obviously don't apply to you or me TBH, so work sponsorship it is: either international transfer via a large international company (does that happen often for trades people?), or finding a job in your target country. I think others have mentioned this, but since you will likely be immigrating via work, secure a job first. Don't even think about anything else without a solid job offer. I didn't follow this advice myself and literally got screwed; I spent several hours learning German everyday during a really busy time of my life, wrecked my mental health along the way due to stress, and never ended up finding a job in Germany in the end... Don't be like past me

tradesman with a lot of technical skills with some specialized skills in short supply

Probably your biggest asset. Some countries like Canada and Australia/NZ publish their skill shortages, so if your skills are on them you'd be in very good luck. There are subreddits and discussion groups on these topics so I'd look into them

Note that in Australia, allegedly the real job shortage can be quite different from the published list. This doesn't hurt your chances of moving there per-se, but can make your life difficult after moving in, especially if you don't have a large amount of savings

Also, I'm not sure exactly what trades you are in (for the sake of privacy I prefer not to ask), but different countries may have different regulations. It is possible that you may not be allowed to work in the EU without local certifications for example. I don't think it is an impasse per-se, but I'd definitely investigate this beforehand

But anyways, if you are interested why not try and apply for a few jobs first? You never know :D

Neither of us is very good at picking up a new language (lord how I’ve tried)

To be honest... that doesn't sound very good. Comes without saying that most places expect workers to speak fluently or at least B1 in their native language (which is also required for immigration purposes for most countries), and the English-friendly places (such as Ireland) can have extremely high demand, which can cause other societal complications

I am taking what you said at face value, since I have seen first-hand how much my boss (German) struggled with learning French and had to settle for learning Dutch instead lol. Nevertheless, for most people it isn't that hard to at least get a passing conversation skill level in a target language in a few years especially with full immersion & government/employer-sponsored language classes, so I wouldn't completely rule it out just yet! If you're able to deal with other languages, there are lots of EU countries that have plenty of opportunities; maybe even some more developed parts of Africa would do as well

IMO go for UK. Same language and pretty loose immigration requirements.

without going through the immigration and naturalization process there.

But why do you want it all without normal processes?

You say you are the most normal American. So the normal way is the way for you.