Lack of commitment, follow through, cowardice preventing me from doing what I really want to do.

Which means, I don't have that out. I can curl inward, f*ck everything, I'm done, and everything gets worse and worse. Not sustainable.

If I'm stuck here, no way out, I suppose only way left is to try to figure out how to get out of this dark space. It doesn't have to be fixed all at once. Just do one small good thing for yourself. Give yourself time to heal, recover. Take it slow. The only way things can change is by actions. Take a shower. Go to goodwill, spend $ on clothes that isn't sweatpants and tattered t-shirts. ..

If I keep at this, one small step at a time, I'm laying in a solid foundation, preparing for that point in future where I'll be able to go back to that goodwill, ask if they're hiring. Sure, not the cushy $75k job you had b4 becoming homeless. It's better than staying on SSI, trapped below poverty level in overcrowded slums.

Only way to move forward is to keep trying.

Becoming a better person.

Learning new things.

Trying new foods and or eating chocolate and drinking coffee.

Sex.

I figured out how to feel better. It's what we've been told all along but didn't want to hear. From the outside it looks like a prescription for a miserable, dull, joyless life. In reality it opens up the possibility of feeling good, happy, and free.

The question.

Oxygen

Ritalin.

Being the best at things. There's nothing better than the feeling of being absolutely stellar at something. I try to develop new skills everyday, and try to find the most effective and efficient way to do everything.

Also wife's tits.

And ass.

God.

Substance abuse

Free porn on my phone

My dogs

i have a test today and honestly if i died right now i would be really mad because i'd have studied for nothing

so i guess i keep going because i have and am doing a bunch of stuff and i don't want that to go to waste

The idea that I may escape America one day. My version of the American Dream is leaving.

Spite and hatred is the only reason I bother to wake up and endure another day.

Domino's Pizza

Caffeine and suger.

The simple joys in life. My relationship with my hubby, cooking a good meal, having a decent cup of tea, reading a good book, there are so many reasons to enjoy life.

The fact that I'm still on this planet

Cheerful vitriol

https://youtu.be/Vhk_ot7_B5E?si=iawNB1ZLJ8BUPzLo

Delusions.

Substanz abuse, my Cat and I'm think to much about how some people would feel if I go

Millions of years of evolution.

Spite for the razor in my wallet.

The promise of a hot cup of coffee in the morning.

People trying to get me to second-guess my doubts that there's anything to keep me going.

I enjoy seeing the fruits of my labor. My family depends on me. I'm optimistic about the future.