Cactus cooler.

It's an orange pineapple carbonated beverage that if you can find is such a happy experience.

Coca Cola. I love it, but I try not to drink it too much. A nice iced can of Coke every now and then.

Arnold palmers. Nothing beats em

milk i guess but my breath would stink

Go big or go home, I say. Pappy Van Winkle for the rest of my days.

Barley Tea. Sure it has water, but what drink doesn't? (Also I feel like my days would be heavily numbered if I don't drink any water for the rest of my life.)

H1O mixed with some Hydrogen. Check mate.

Oolong tea

Is aforementioned drink free for life too? Because there's this whiskey distillery just up the road from me and they make a black tea infused whiskey that I wouldn't mind.

See username :) So much variety even though it's all the same tea plant

Definitely not egg nog.

Dimethylmercury

D₂O, and then make a living selling my piss to chemical manufacturers

e:

How Drinking Heavy Water Could Kill You

Algae and bacteria can live with 100% heavy water and no regular water. Plant and animal cells are more complex, so too much heavy water results in sickness or death. One key issue is that heavy water disrupts mitosis, the type of cell division used to repair injuries and grow new cells. The mitotic spindles of cells containing too much heavy water simply aren’t able to equally divide a cell to form two identical new ones.

But, you have to continuously drink and eat only heavy water for several days to see an effect. Replacing 20% of regular water in cells with heavy water is survivable for humans and other mammals (although not recommended). Swapping 25% of water with heavy water causes (sometimes irreversible) sterilization. Replacing 50% of water with heavy water is lethal. It’s not a pretty death, either. Heavy water poisoning resembles radiation poisoning or cytotoxic poisoning from chemotherapy.

https://sciencenotes.org/can-you-drink-heavy-water-is-it-safe/

fuck I changed my mind can I do green tea

How different from water does it have to be? Just not in the title?

Because both something like sparkling water and juice are basically water.

But I already pretty much only drink sparkling water so I'll pick that one if it's allowed (if the spirit of your question is "no flat water").

Bud light. It’s basically alcoholic water.

Maybe truly hard seltzer since it tastes better.

I'll take the large glass of Poison. 1 glass is more than a lifetime supply.

Glass bottle coke

Horchata

My heart says unsweetened black iced tea, but after a bout of kidney stones I guess I'd have to go with an iced herbal tea. Maybe something minty.