where does everyone stand on cretin? IMHO it's medical use is obsolete afaik, so really it's just an insult right?

You're overthinking it. You didn't say anything insensitive or stupid. It will offend some people, but they are usually looking at how to be a victim and that gives them an opportunity. It's just words, don't worry about it so much.

This is a great list for ableist terms . https://www.autistichoya.com/p/ableist-words-and-terms-to-avoid.html I'm disabled in multiple ways and there were a few on here that caused me to re-evaluate my lexicon.

A list has limited use because language evolves, and so do people, and on top of that, context is everything — but it can be a good place to start

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Category:English_derogatory_terms

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Category:English_offensive_terms

these aren't phrases but they're words

Unfortunately, this keeps changing. Old slurs get recycled or forgotten, and new words become offensive. Corporate guidelines are often hugely overbroad to avoid offending anyone. The best way to avoid things like what just happened, by checking slang in a dictionary before using it.

This is a misled approach. Rather than trying to list out the myriad phrases in our language based on historical prejudice, it's better to just understand that prejudice yourself so you can determine what you want to perpetuate and what you don't. That being said this won't prevent something like this from ever happening again, and sometimes things you would never guess are rooted in white supremacy or other ism. No one knows the full extent of it themselves and no one is expected to know everything. If it happens on occasion and you realize it like this and avoid it in the future it's fine for most people. If you keep saying something you don't realize is messed up and stop when you learn it's messed up, that's also fine. It's only when it's obvious that you know it's wrong but you insist on doing it or get defensive about how it shouldn't be a big deal when it becomes a real issue.

I tried to look but the most official one (from University of Washington) is kind of ridiculous. Following for better ideas.