The world ended and is full of ghosts, but you still gotta work your 9 to 5 with your best bud.

Go to waypoint simulator with blackjack and hookers.

Squid and octopus shooting each other

Squid commits racism and tries to seal octopus away for eternity

A caveman flies with the power of a large head.

You command one or several cities and gangs of creatures (some of them beasts, some presumably sentient), lead by a person who's armor and sword somehow makes the other creatures in his group stronger. These gangs capture other cities and fight other gangs, but they're very civil - they let each take their turn at it.

you wake up in a desert, and you get your face kicked in over and over until eventually you get enslaved

Let's see who gets this one:

Find your 107 pals (if you bother to do it), build up your castle and go up against that psycho dude weirdly fixated with porcine epithets.

"I'd kill for a back tattoo like that!"

You wake up in a strange place with some other random people. There’s something spooky there with you. You need to become fix things to open a door and escape. There’s way more squatting and flashlights than necessary.

Your mentor's dismemberment grants you an unexpected promotion. You then become friends with his combat equipment and kill an up and coming bloodsports organiser's friends and colleagues.

Vegetable slavery

Boss fights, with long animation locks, to get RNG loot drops to fight harder bosses, with some non boss fight content sprinkled in every now and again.

You start out as a taxi driver but end up as a major player in a conflict between two warring pizza restaurants.