nuke this comm and replace it with revolutionary_behavior (hexbear.net)

submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by WithoutFurtherBelay@hexbear.net to c/self_improvement@hexbear.net

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Now that I’ve caught you with the clickbait title,

Basically every post has included some form of toxic self-hate, minus one or two mentioning exercise. While I do like being able to confront these in the first place, the purported goals and name of this community gives people who are giving the exact wrong advice far too much credibility, and the last thing these people need is a comment with the most upbears regurgitating individualistic self-help concepts at them.

If we’re going to keep this sort of community around, I suggest doing some serious research and basing it off of DBT, and integrating serious critiques of CBT style mental healthcare and improvement.

I am just some random nerd who is terrible at self-improvement at general, so I understand taking this with some serious doubt. But I just had to get this off my chest.

Thank you, WithoutFurtherBelay

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[-] iie@hexbear.net 2 points 9 months ago

I'm a bit late to this thread

basically every post has included some form of toxic self-hate

they already felt that way. that is where they're coming from.

the purported goals and name of this community gives people who are giving the exact wrong advice far too much credibility

this is pretty vague, and a lot of the comments here are also pretty vague, which is understandable but it risks a false consensus.

revolutionary_behavior

it's not immediately clear, to someone browsing the comm list, what that comm would be about. Unless the comm is frequently on the front page of the site and people see enough posts to infer what the comm is about, they will be guessing until they decide to click through to the comm and read the side bar.

regurgitating individualistic self-help concepts

here is the meat of my criticism

yes, our broken society put us where we are, and we should put that blame where it belongs, but don't overcorrect in the other direction. Usually there are things individuals can do to improve their situations, both on their own and by finding community, and often there are barriers to them finding community that they must address first as an individual. If our society is broken and does not help us, sometimes we do need to help ourselves.

if you're depressed, which is most of us, it is dangerous to hear that there is nothing you can do as an individual. You already feel apathetic, helpless, and anhedonic, it's too easy to believe a message like that. You don't see anyone riding in on a horse to rescue you any time soon. You have no social support network other than this website and maybe a couple friends you have already withdrawn from and feel unworthy to be around. If anyone changes your situation, at least initially, it will be you. For you to take that step, you have to believe it leads somewhere, you have to believe there is something you can do to improve your situation on your own.

[-] WithoutFurtherBelay@hexbear.net 1 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Under no circumstance does individualistic self-help concepts being incorrect mean that you are helpless. Working towards bettering one’s life so you’re happier is something that does not require blaming oneself, and it requires an understanding of the material circumstances that are affecting you in the first place.

A holistic understand of improving oneself doesn’t imply complete helplessness, but a more pragmatic perspective, where you change your environment to then change yourself indirectly.

It doesn’t mean that it is impossible to change yourself, it means that it requires actual analysis and not just Willpower

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this post was submitted on 08 Jan 2024

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Self Improvement

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A community which focusses on improving yourself. This can be in many different ways - from improving physical health or appearance, to improving mental health, creating better habits, overcoming addictions, etc.

While material circumstances beyond our control do govern much of our daily lives, people do have agency and choices to make, whether that is as "simple" as disciplining yourself to not doomscroll, to as complex as recreating yourself to have many different hobbies and habits.

This is not a place where all we do is talk about improving "productivity" (in a workplace context) and similar terms and harmful lifestyles like "grindset". Self-improvement here is intended to make you a generally better and happier person, as well as a better communist, and any other roles you may have in your life.

Rules and guidelines:

Posts should be about self-improvement. This is obviously a wide category, and can range from advice, to finding resources, to self-posts about needing to improve in a certain area, or how you have improved, and many other things.

Use content warnings when discussing difficult subjects.

Do not make medical decisions solely because of a discussion you have had with any person here (e.g. whether to take or not take medications; diagnoses; etc.) as we do not vet people. All medical problems should be discussed with a real-life medical professional.

Do not post harmful advice here. If this is seen, then please report it and we shall remove it. If you are unsure about whether it's precisely harmful advice or not but feel uneasy about it, please report it anyway.

Do not insult other users and their lifestyles or their habits (unless they ask, I suppose). This is a place for self-improvement. Critique and discussion about a course of action is encouraged over shit-flinging. Don't talk down to people.

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