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Let me know if I’m getting too deep for this (brand new) comm, but I’ve noticed lately that all of my sense of validation at this point in my life comes from other people. Is it possible to gain this feeling from my self or is that unrealistic?

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[-] Mokey@hexbear.net 1 points 1 year ago

I think good parenting is what gives people a good sense of self-esteem, if they didn't do that getting it later is hard.

I feel like by accepting that there are good and bad things about me I was able to foster an environment where I can focus on the good things. If theres nothing I can do about the bad things or it's not worth the effort, why focus on them?

I'm also my biggest advocate, I have my off days but I try to remind myself that I can do anything I want to and I can and have grown.

[-] Mokey@hexbear.net 1 points 1 year ago

You just gotta do it too, dont think about it too much.

[-] pixelghost@hexbear.net 0 points 1 year ago

Internal validation comes from practice, in my experience. You have to learn to be comfortable impressing yourself, and being alone with yourself. If you're having a hard time, saying words out loud to yourself as if you're talking to someone else can help. EX. "Wow, I look really good today" or "I did such a great job making dinner tonight." You're always going to seek external validation to a point, but developing this skill will for sure help you need it less.

[-] Mokey@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago
[-] material_delinquent@hexbear.net 0 points 1 year ago

at about 6-8 languages, I have at least realized becoming very good at things is not sufficient

[-] stigsbandit34z@hexbear.net 0 points 1 year ago
[-] material_delinquent@hexbear.net 0 points 1 year ago

I learned arcane languages. retroactively I think I did it bc the earliest thing from my childhood is being told I will never learn to write and read and general abuses and so I started to compensate and language proficiency seemed like the best way to do so. I feel a little bit better now, but it's not like I discovered my self-worth that way

[-] roux@hexbear.net 0 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I donno what all fandoms you are in but maybe look into conlangs. I only really became privy to them because my wife is a linguistics nerd. But if you know 8 languages and recognize the various structuring and such, you might be a good fit for creating languages for tv and movies.

Or even just for creative writing and such.

I'm currently working on a quasi-creole for a story but really want to have it fully developed if this story goes anywhere. I'm a bit clueless on it all though.

[-] material_delinquent@hexbear.net 0 points 1 year ago

first I need a better job (paying enough to live off beans and public transport, but if I am able, I think I want to learn or teach endangered languages in some capacities. I speak some that are pretty gnarly to learn for europeans/amerikans like Arabic and Hebrew, so I don't think I will be troubled by difficulty. I don't know-know 8 languages bc I need to maintain languages as well, I'd more say around 5 active ones and 8 passively

[-] Mokey@hexbear.net 1 points 1 year ago
this post was submitted on 05 Jan 2024
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