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submitted 1 year ago by kilgore@feddit.de to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

Hey Folks!

I've been living abroad for over half my life in a country where tipping is not the norm. At most you would round up. 19€ bill? Here's a 20, keep this change.

Going to the US soon to visit family and the whole idea of tipping makes me nervous. It seems there's a lot of discussion about getting rid of tipping, but I don't know how much has changed in this regard.

The system seems ridiculously unfair, and that extra expense in a country where everything is already so expensive really makes a difference.

So will AITA if I don't tip? Is it really my personal responsibility to make sure my server is paid enough?

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[-] OneOrTheOther2028@sh.itjust.works -1 points 1 year ago

I only tip if someone had to do something to get me that food/experience. Picking up food to take home? No tip. The restaurant makes you get your own food from the counter and do your own refills? No tip. The checkout screen might have a tip, but I'm putting 0.

It's not really your personal responsibility, it's the restaurant owners responsibility. If people aren't getting enough tips in a restaurant where tips are the big draw, and that causes wait staff to quit, the restaurant owner should be paying his people to subsidize that.

15-20% also is not a hard rule. There's a lot of places where I live that try to pass off costlier food in shitty atmosphere (think 30 dollar entrees, but the server sees you twice and it's a "theme" restaurant). If I think someone did well and engaged with us as customers and were pretty good about making suggestions on the menu or being extra attentive to drink refills, then guaranteed they're getting within that 15-20%. Anything less than that, then I as the customer who only gets to make that judgement call off of the limited interaction we have, and you'll get 7-10% or 5 bucks, whichever is bigger.

[-] solstice@lemmy.world -1 points 1 year ago

I already replied but I just wanted a top level comment regarding:

that extra expense in a country where everything is already so expensive really makes a difference

That tip expense would be paid either way. There's no difference between charging $9 for a sandwich and tipping $1 vs being charged $10 for the sandwich and no tip. All costs always get passed down to the consumer no matter what, that's just how it works. So it isn't an "extra" expense. It is, was, and always will be in there, one way or another. I agree tipping is weird, inefficient, and difficult to understand, but you're gonna pay no matter what.

[-] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world -1 points 10 months ago
[-] mykl@lemmy.world -1 points 1 year ago

Yes, if you don’t tip they will call you a Canadian or worse.

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[-] ergifruit@lemmygrad.ml -1 points 1 year ago

you absolutely are the asshole if you don't tip. if you can't afford to tip, then don't eat out/just hit up fast food/go anywhere where people are paid a decent wage. most servers make under $5 an hour. if you're not tipping, you're directly exploiting them.

[-] pingveno@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago

if you’re not tipping, you’re directly exploiting them.

Or rather, indirectly exploiting them. But yeah, if you refuse to support tipping, then just don't go to those businesses. Don't take it out on the employees.

[-] christophski@feddit.uk 0 points 1 year ago

No, the business is the asshole, not you. But when in Rome, this is the way it is in America so play along, it's not like you're murdering someone

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[-] MrComradeTaco@lemmy.fmhy.ml -2 points 1 year ago

Grab a gun ASAP maybe you could need it.

[-] Doctor8@infosec.pub -3 points 1 year ago

No, you don't have to tip. Really unfortunate that some people rely on tips for their wage, but If you don't tip, you're NTA.

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[-] ajimix@lemmy.ml -3 points 1 year ago

If you look like a tourist you will not have much of a problem. I also live in a country where tipping is never done and when I travel to the US I never tip as I don’t agree with that system and I’m not used to it. Nobody ever told me anything or complained

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[-] lom@sh.itjust.works -5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

OP is probably American and trying to start a discussion. Just accept it as how things are done here and move on. It's really not that bad if you expect it

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this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2023
259 points (97.1% liked)

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