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[-] sndmn@lemmy.ca 180 points 2 years ago

That's the hardest working "or" I've ever seen.

[-] adj16@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago

Lmaooo. This got a genuine belly laugh out of me

[-] FurtiveFugitive@lemm.ee 83 points 2 years ago

At first it sounds like a helluva coin toss but in the end you end up with a stiff.

[-] I_Am_Jacks_____@lemmings.world 47 points 2 years ago

I hope you get to choose. One outcome seems better than the other.

[-] Lizardon@lemmy.ml 25 points 2 years ago

I mean, the outcomes are not mutually exclusive.

[-] ProfessorZhu@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago

Ah this is what happened to that old man in the first clerks movie

[-] Drusas@kbin.social 3 points 2 years ago

One of the best movies ever. So New Jersey.

[-] nightwatch_admin@feddit.nl 2 points 2 years ago

Death by snu snu?

[-] GoofSchmoofer@lemmy.world 39 points 2 years ago

"I'm here to give out erections and death... and I'm all out of erections!"

[-] _g_be@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

I've got just the one. You can borrow it, in pulses

[-] eran_morad@lemmy.world 38 points 2 years ago

So what is it, like 50/50?

[-] rockerface@lemm.ee 16 points 2 years ago

The question is, is it an exclusive or?

[-] artofcode@programming.dev 5 points 2 years ago

Those are odds I can work with

[-] J12@lemmy.world 32 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

“the erection is a side effect that everybody who gets stung by this spider will experience along with the pain and discomfort”

🤷‍♀️

[-] ohlaph@lemmy.world 16 points 2 years ago

Imagine being a women... Do they get erections as well?

[-] Blumpkinhead@lemmy.world 32 points 2 years ago

What part of "everybody" wasn't clear here?

[-] hark@lemmy.world 27 points 2 years ago

Actually yeah, the clitoris.

[-] HubertManne@kbin.social 3 points 2 years ago

how are masochists not breeding these things!

[-] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

people eat ghost peppers. I wouldn't be surprised if someone tried this.

[-] iHUNTcriminals@lemm.ee 31 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

So... As an American do i have to order these online from Canada if I don't have a script?

[-] candyman337@sh.itjust.works 23 points 2 years ago

No no it's female reproductive rights we limit in this country

[-] ohlaph@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

Yes, but our insurance won't cover it and calling or visiting a site to a inquire will cost $5500.

[-] Wolf_359@lemmy.world 23 points 2 years ago

Tried to kill myself like this once but the spider kept stiffing me.

[-] Elephant0991@lemmy.bleh.au 17 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Dead boner in Aisle 6, in Aisle 6!

[-] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 17 points 2 years ago

It'll reopen after "comprehensive cleaning and disinfecting" in about a week... That's pretty quick for rebuilding a burnt down supermarket.

Though in all seriousness, I can't tell if the evacuation was an overreaction or if the decision to reopen after just cleaning and disinfecting is sweeping this under the rug. Seems to me like either they should have just warned customers there was a very venomous spider somewhere on the loose or made sure they caught/killed the spider before reopening. It's like they are treating a spider like covid back when we didn't understand how it transmitted.

Unless they are leaving the "we filled the supermarket with deadly poison to kill it" part out, which then makes the cleaning before reopening make sense.

[-] GreenMario@lemm.ee 15 points 2 years ago

Women who get bit: Guess I'll die 🤷‍♀️

[-] bigbluealien@kbin.social 22 points 2 years ago

"the erection is a side effect that everybody who gets stung by this spider will experience"
From the article, no escape women

[-] TheLobotomist@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 2 years ago

Never heard of clitoris erections? The clitoris is just a tiny penis

[-] Drusas@kbin.social 21 points 2 years ago

The penis is just a big clitoris.

[-] rockerface@lemm.ee 7 points 2 years ago
[-] victron@programming.dev 12 points 2 years ago

I'm not clicking that shit, thank you.

[-] rockerface@lemm.ee 9 points 2 years ago

It's just a Wikipedia link OwO

[-] LexaMaridia@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

Adding the extra spice with OwO

[-] rockerface@lemm.ee 4 points 2 years ago

I am simply stating the trUwUth

[-] hoodlem@hoodlem.me 10 points 2 years ago

By the time the fire brigade arrived at the store, the spider was nowhere to be seen, local media reported.

The fire brigade. I imagine them busting in. “Nobody move! It’s possible you may get an erection!”

[-] GBU_28@lemm.ee 3 points 2 years ago

Penis inspection day is now today!

I know none of you had time to prepare, as is your normal right, but get those dick out now

[-] Jackolantern@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago

What a toss up of extremes

[-] BilboBargains@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

The spider is described as a small blue diamond and is often accompanied by older men.

[-] hactar42@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

~~cake~~ erection or death

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 4 points 2 years ago
[-] 41ZWJh7Mgg@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

It’s a W either way

[-] nieceandtows@programming.dev 3 points 2 years ago

Delectable tea, or deadly poison?

[-] kescusay@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

I understood that reference.

[-] someguy3@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 years ago

Confirmed banana spider.

Obligatory Jibbers Crabst https://youtu.be/ZZ_BtZ-5O60

[-] Drusas@kbin.social 7 points 2 years ago

There are way too many species that are called banana spiders. That looks absolutely nothing like the banana spiders we had where I used to live (which were harmless).

[-] snausagesinablanket@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Death Boner Live

[-] x4740N@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

I think death or erections are side effects of what the spiders bite actually does

this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2023
271 points (95.0% liked)

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