We incorporate a small town in rural Iowa that specializes in dairy products. The primary is based off of which candidate the voters think is best at chugging a gallon of melted butter from a plastic milk container while standing knee-deep in cow manure. The voters cast their ballots at one of the 73 diners we built all around the town, where they vote by pouring a pre measured amount of milk into one of several mason jars. We call it the Hogg's Point Butter Caucus.
A gallon?! I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty sure that's a lethal amount of butter.
I mean it jokingly, in reference to how our atrocious farm policy that promotes such unhealthy food, especially dairy products.
i think a fun one would be a town that has some kind of tournament like chess to decide who everyone votes for. this inevitably leads to an arms race of different candidates hiring different professional chess players to represent their candidate in the tournament. the winner is whoever convinces magnus carlsen to play for them
Election fraud by way of vibrating anal toy.
vibrating anal toy
This makes Carlsen and all other human chess players cry.
Retvrn to gladiator combat to decide. Candidates must ake a penalty for using a champion instead of fighting themselves
There's a "poll sitting" joke but I just can't find it.
A pole sitter
To vote - a Democrats and a Republican must win a trial by combat that involves jousting and only jousting. ~~Because that's only what I want to see.~~ Because it is an ancient and noble custom.
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If they can't ride a horse - no problem. They wear velcro pants that attach to the velcro saddle.
Banned? DM Wmill to appeal.
No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer
Gossip posts go in c/gossip. Don't post low-hanging fruit here after it gets removed from c/gossip