169
submitted 1 year ago by Hubi@feddit.de to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
top 22 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] Hypnos9@artemis.camp 24 points 1 year ago

We really do live in the weirdest timeline...

[-] olorin99@artemis.camp 22 points 1 year ago

Woah jetpacks are actually a thing now? Where do I get one?

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 23 points 1 year ago

Go to Peru and meet the cartels. They have advanced technology they use to steal gold and set up illegal dredging operations. And they've dressed like lizards in bright green and gold armor. And the jetpacks just glow red and fit underneath the feet. It's all very efficient and nothing to do with aliens.

[-] yukichigai@kbin.social 22 points 1 year ago

Go to Peru and meet the cartels.

I think I'll pass, thanks.

[-] Ichipurka@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago

In Peru, cartels are just DMT entities…

[-] resketreke@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago

More like cocaine entities.

[-] AffineConnection@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago
[-] resketreke@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

That's a cocaine elemental!

[-] reflex@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Woah jetpacks are actually a thing now? Where do I get one?

These guys make one.
Jennifer Connelly not included.

[-] GlitterNinja@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I thought the first link was going to be “and it starts right now” jet pack guy.

Not sure of Lemmy etiquette - Do I just paste the link? this guy

Edited to make the link look nicer

[-] Carighan@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

I mean they have their own drug-runner submarines. You underestimate how big and professional cartels are.

[-] FlexibleToast@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago

What is being mined that is so profitable that the miners commute with jet packs?

[-] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 year ago

It’s much more likely they’re trying to harass the indigenous people off the land rather than using it for commuting.

[-] FlexibleToast@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

After thinking about it a bit, I thought the same thing. It's still a pretty nuts idea, but it could work.

[-] INHALE_VEGETABLES@aussie.zone 1 points 1 year ago

Children, it would seem.

[-] emptyother@programming.dev 9 points 1 year ago

This is a plot of the new MiB movie, right?

This is some sci-fi bamboozling shit right here and I’m all for it!

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago

These gentlemen are aliens. They seem armored like the green goblin from Spider Man. I have shot one twice and it didn’t fall. Instead, it elevated and disappeared

[-] spaysi@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 year ago

Ahh yes, the much more logical explanation- secret gold miners with jet packs are harassing a local town! Because? Reasons! 🤦🏽‍♀️

[-] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 year ago

Yes, humans with human made technology that has existed for a few years harassing indigenous people is the more logical explanation. At least as long as the alternative is aliens coming to harass indigenous people in the middle of nowhere, who just happen to live in an area where over 100 illegal mining operations have already been shut down and where 80% of the illegal mining in the country is.

[-] csolisr@communities.azkware.net 3 points 1 year ago

This one sounds a lot like the plot for an episode of Scooby Doo

this post was submitted on 15 Aug 2023
169 points (98.8% liked)

Not The Onion

12141 readers
714 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS