I may have harvested my beets a little late.

Id get a medal for defending democracy.

Attempting to win at poker with a collection of rocks, glass and, cards I have doodled on.

Dispensing Freedom.

Building without a permit

Having six throwing stars and a shitload of buffs... as a potato

Abandoning my post in defense of Super Earth. I am sorry, Democracy.

Public inebriation, disturbing the peace

(Rock and Stone ⛏️⛏️⛏️⛏️⛏️)

Having eleven kings in one poker hand.

Democracy (it was helldivers)

Unauthorized orbital rocket launches.

Falcon punching Pikachu.

Loving Managed Democracy too hard

Capturing and enslaving weird magic animals

Possession of psychite with intention to distribute

and like, at least 3 or 4 warcrimes, but whose counting

Supporting democracy!

Rotting in a Shinra prison for bombing a Mako reactor. In my defense, the new explosion graphics were great.

Unlicensed space travel

Tax Fraud.

I didn't get arrested, because I suffer from a knee injury and my adventures have ended

Climbing a mountain but dying too much along the way. Like a little too much.

I guess I'll be getting arrested for helping people build a village.

Using obscene amounts of violence to protect freedom and democracy across the galaxy.

Forcing thousands of grandmother's into endless work. Destroying ecosystems. Ravaging planets. Ending light itself. Enslaving Gods. And eliminating every parallel world in existence. All to make cookies. More and more. On and on and on. Universes of cookies more numerous than atoms in the cosmos.

But I'm almost done.

PC: Politely asking for and engaging in street fights with random strangers.

Mobile: Baking cookies

Web: Making paperclips

Failing to properly evacuate the city during a Tsunami because its easier just to clean up afterwards (Cities Skylines).

Disregarding all Osha violations, colonizing a planet and killing all natural life.

damm I love factorio

Throwing a stick of dynamite into the middle of a kkk meeting outside of Rhodes. Sorry, not sorry.

Genocide

Driving a giant tractor with a trailer full of soybeans the wrong way around a roundabout to deliver the soybeans to the grocery store.

Been playing Dorfromantik so building quaint, idyllic villages with expansive forests and streams.

Gambling fraud. I keep playing 5 of a kind Flush in Balanto and it keeps working!

Forcing a dragon to fuck a bear?

Murdering tens of thousands of natives in North America to build plantations to make money to build factories in England.

I think this is the kind of violence history books often frame as the "unfortunate side of progress", so I guess it's okay ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Stealing villager's beds.

Rolling a ball that, through exponential growth, eventually starts to swallow up the likes of skyscrapers, clouds, Godzilla, and the planets of the galaxy.

Mass murdering animals.

Doing 95mp/h in a semi down the shoulder of a highway in Colorado.

Going a-víking and dismembering "a few" Englishmen...

Space mining.