What is this app and why would i want my phone telling me about the sounds it heard?
It's pre-installed on phones (accessibility> sound notifications).
The purpose is to get notified on things like smoke alarms going off etc when you are hearing impaired.
Edit: here's the full list of what comes preconfigured: 
What gone wrong? The app clearly recognize the style.
"We've detected what might be a missionary at your front door"
A sound has been recognized that may be a rusty trombone.
At least 55 minutes, going for the gusto.
Three notifications on the hour and one five minutes ago, sounds like he's a two pump chump and on round 2.
Then at least they are ambitious
Must have been going rough.
Going… ruff. Missed opportunity.
Also, 1 hour ago and then 5 minutes ago? Well done on making round 2 happen!
I was trying to be more coy about it.
D’oh! Well played, I honestly missed that. I valet lack of caffeine so far this morning.
Or maybe they're just mutts about each other.
That moment when you wake up, still drunk from last night, and it's slowly becoming clear what you have done during blackout.
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