Signal can do messaging and calling over wifi and can be set up with just a username.
If you don't have phone Sims/phone numbers then you can use something like Mumble.
I setup my own server locally and have a VPN to it. My kids phone can connect then and we can talk over a local LAN or with a VPN if I'm elsewhere.
Other than that. Discord?
I can easily get phone numbers to register a messenger account or similar, but not so interested in an ongoing cost like a dumb phone
None of the families are really home server types, so I would have to maintain any server client solution for them which is less than ideal
Is discord better than messenger, whether it's ease of use, quality, privacy etc.?
Both Discord and Messenger have shit privacy practices. I'd try out Matrix or Conversations (XMPP). Niether require a phone number to work.
If you don't mind using a phone number for registration, I'd recommend Signal.
Signal is probably going to be the simplest to use, but the other two are also pretty easy to get up and running relatively speaking.
discord and messenger are pretty bad when it comes to privacy, neither even bother end-to-end-encrypting calls.
Signal really is the best choice, but due to the phone number registration requirement, unless you're fine with the one-time purchase of some prepaid SIMs or something, that might get a bit annoying.
SimpleX is decent enough with calls for now (when they work), but connection times can be abysmal
This is where I would jump to Matrix / Element, but Element is currently in the middle of re-making their mobile Apps, including the entire calling feature 🥴
SimpleX? It doesn't need anything other then internet. Not even an email or phone # to reg.
Thanks, I'll check it out
Probably the only downside with this is the fact that it can take quite some time for the call to actually connect
I mean, in the context of anonymity that is very good due to it's design, but maybe not perfect for this usecase
Why not just give them a dumb phone and save your phone number?
I have a few old Android phones around, and having a phone service would be a recurring cost (albeit small)
I also thought that having Messenger would restrict the calls to numbers that had already been connected to the account, rather than trying to restrict the numbers a phone can call
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