128
submitted 5 months ago by jeffw@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] MattTheProgrammer@lemmy.world 63 points 5 months ago

STOP. GIVING. HIM. ATTENTION.

[-] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 11 points 5 months ago

Billionaire media money machine goes brrrrrr

[-] rsuri@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago

I gotta wonder if there's one of those internet laws like "The dumber the opinion, the more attention it gets"

[-] vegetal@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago

Ha - I'm not sure there is! There's still time to give it a name - perhaps Rittenhouse's Lowest Common Denominator: "the dumber the opinion, the more attention it gets." Feel free to disregard, improve, or workshop that.

[-] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[-] dumbass@leminal.space 45 points 5 months ago

I hope they use that thumbnail of him pretending to cry in court for every shitty article they write about him.

[-] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 16 points 5 months ago

The quintessential "Piss Baby"

[-] jeffw@lemmy.world 11 points 5 months ago

One day it’ll be in his obituary

[-] anarchy79@lemmy.world 45 points 5 months ago

Let's not give this absolute nobody media space please...

[-] Crack0n7uesday@lemmy.world 11 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

This is the most click bait article I accidentally clicked on. I need to factory reset my phone after coming in contact with that website.

[-] nutsack@lemmy.world 41 points 5 months ago

this guy is such a pussy it's unbelievable

[-] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago

He's echoing sentiments white nationalists have espoused for centuries.

Pretty sure Christopher Columbus is on record telling a native to "Love it or Leave it"

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] ZeroCool@vger.social 33 points 5 months ago

I'll just drop this here:

Kyle Rittenhouse’s Former Handler Reveals That He’s a Middle School Dropout Who Is ‘Angry With the World’

This dude isn't just your run of the mill conservative idiot, he's exceptionally stupid.

[-] antlion@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 5 months ago

Here is the full transcript of Hancock’s (@DaveHan06) post on X/Twitter:

Is anyone surprised that Kyle’s far-right political handlers ensured this particular detail didn’t make it into his book? (Referring to photo of email detailing how Rittenhouse was banned from ever applying to the Marine Corp again due to failing the entrance exam so terribly)

Regarding his online high school diploma, we had to force him to complete the four years of credits in just ten months, which he did using the “Google machine.”

We invested significant effort to craft the image you witnessed during the trial. We outfitted him in new suits, arranged for his haircut every weekend during the trial, and dedicated over 200 hours to prepare him for direct and cross-examination. We employed the world’s leading jury consultant and conducted extensive research through three mock trials to identify the ideal jurors and the most effective approach for his testimony.

Transforming a middle school dropout who was “angry at the world” with a history of violence and an unhealthy obsession with guns and killing into a respectable young man with a desire for higher education and a promising future was no easy feat.

It was a meticulously crafted facade, which we sincerely hoped he would grow into. Instead, he squandered a full scholarship to study any subject at any university in the country to become a divisive douchebag and antagonize black Americans on college campuses. Kyle failed to learn a single thing. He remains the same uneducated, arrogant, and antagonistic individual, incapable of telling the truth.

Now, he genuinely believes he is the show pony we created and has surrounded himself with sycophants who fuel his inflated ego because they prioritize their political agenda and Christian Nationalist worldview over his well-being.

Despite my efforts to guide him toward a better path in life, the allure of notoriety triumphed over the prospect of putting in the hard work of pursuing an education. Kyle is ill-equipped to offer advice to young people. I regret my role in shaping him into whatever he has become. If I had known what I know now about Kyle’s history, I wouldn’t have been involved.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] HungryJerboa@lemmy.ca 6 points 5 months ago

So what I read is that TPUSA enables useful idiots.

Stop giving attention whores what they want, for fuck's sake. It's like getting mad at Facebook comments which I thought we'd all learned was useless a decade ago.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)

he has such a punchable face, my right hand starts itching every time i see a picture of him

[-] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 26 points 5 months ago

He should follow his own advice and gtfo

[-] CileTheSane@lemmy.ca 24 points 5 months ago

If Kyle Rittenhouse doesn't like Native Americans he can leave.

No, wait, other countries don't want to deal with the US's bullshit.

[-] austinfloyd@ttrpg.network 17 points 5 months ago

We don't have to send him to another country. Just put him on a raft in the middle of the ocean.

[-] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 5 months ago

great pacific garbage patch, population: nazis

[-] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago

They seem to love Russia now. Send him there.

[-] militaryintelligence@lemmy.world 23 points 5 months ago

That level of irony should be illegal

load more comments (6 replies)
[-] Chainweasel@lemmy.world 23 points 5 months ago

His opinions aren't newsworthy.

load more comments (5 replies)
[-] Snapz@lemmy.world 22 points 5 months ago

Middle school dropout clinging to a gun and living 24/7 in fully consuming fear that people find out he's just a frightened child (which of course, everyone already knows)

[-] Zak@lemmy.world 21 points 5 months ago

The public should not care what Kyle Rittenhouse thinks and we should not amplify a stupid thing he said.

[-] Fridgeratr@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 5 months ago

I'm happy they always use the picture of him crying like the bitch baby he is

[-] HawlSera@lemm.ee 13 points 5 months ago

In twenty years, he's going to be the Governor of a backwater state like Alabama or something, he's sadly going to be remembered as this Right Wing Folk Hero forever.

[-] CoffeeJunkie@lemmy.world 12 points 5 months ago

He's 21 years old & also he's gotten a lot of fame. We can't expect lots of great wisdom from him.

[-] nova_ad_vitum@lemmy.ca 6 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

He's the Ryan Lochte of whatever it is he does. Except I guess Lochte was good at something.

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] Hobbes_Dent@lemmy.world 11 points 5 months ago

But setting aside the fact that a descendant of colonizers has the caucasity to tell the descendants of the colonized that they should “leave” the land they rightfully pointed out was stolen from them…

Oh, that’s good.

[-] yokonzo@lemmy.world 11 points 5 months ago

Isn't this the kid that fired into a crowd? Why are we listening to anything he says again?

[-] EatATaco@lemm.ee 14 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Because he's a darling of the right, and really riles up the left whenever he is mentioned. It's rage clicks either way, and people are easily played.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] mysticpickle@lemmy.ca 9 points 5 months ago

Dude is so dumb he got PERMANENTLY disqualified from joining the crayon eaters club. And this was during a time they were desperate for new recruits too lol

[-] icecream@lemmy.world 9 points 5 months ago

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/rittenhouse-military-enlistment-test/

This email could be fake. There is zero verifiable evidence that Rittenhouse was permanently disqualified from serving because of a low ASVAB test score

load more comments (18 replies)
[-] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago

I'd love to leave and not be stuck in a country with assholes like him but I can't afford it. It's like $2,500 just to renounce your citizenship.

[-] SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca 8 points 5 months ago

Unfortunately there's these kinds of assholes in every country.

[-] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago

People: What a bunch of bastards.

[-] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 5 points 5 months ago

I'd love to not live in a country with him, but if I leave, I know the country gets a little bit worse for those who can't leave. This is why I advocate for staying in awful states if you can do so safely. If you leave, then the state gets even worse for the people who want to but can't.

load more comments (9 replies)
[-] dynamojoe@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago

Maybe he can join Kristi Noem and get banned from native lands... then get caught flaunting the ban. That shit would be hilarious.

[-] danekrae@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago

Why report, what a crying murderer thinks?

load more comments (5 replies)
[-] crypticthree@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago

What a stupid dumb ass

[-] TheBat@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago

Stop giving attention to this cunt

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 26 May 2024
128 points (81.1% liked)

Not The Onion

12210 readers
428 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS