The Love Toilet:

The long boi design is brilliant. You can have 'friends with excrements' on it, it's a flushable bathtub/isolation chamber and a luxurious porcelain coffin. I hope it has an integrated bidet that functions like a wacky lawn sprinkler.

This is tricky. I have to decide if I want to hold hands or make eye contact. It's not fair.

This is a false dichotomy. The options are far from the only ones and not as different as the meme makes you believe they are. That said, I'll take the left one.

This feels like a comment about US election but it's not

I'll just hold it until next week, thanks.

Ah yes, the final level of BattleShits.

Facing each other, easy. This is the best way to play battleshits

Whoeva done that vegeta-buttface, how dare you?

I want to see two of those benches facing each other, 3v3.

One person on each team shits, while the others try to steal a turd from the other team; Capture the Flag

I like the Roman mmo style

Always opposite. No way you want someone else's poo splash hitting your cheeks

Definitely not sitting on the trough-toilet because you'd have half or more of your ass hanging unsupported over the giant bowl which would be super uncomfortable, plus the nastiness of a giant trough toilet itself.

The Roman LAN party latrine

PvPvE