558
submitted 3 months ago by TehBamski@lemmy.world to c/humor@lemmy.world
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[-] pivot_root@lemmy.world 32 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

While holding hands, some of you may experience a slight case of instantaneous subatomic annihilation. If this happens to you, back away slowly and do not show panic. When you are once again safely away from yourself, head directly to the Aperture Science Paradox Resolution lab and ask for James. He'll patch up that hole in your universe in a jiffy, and you won't even feel a thing.

[-] 30p87@feddit.org 27 points 3 months ago

Alternatively:

  • More interesting self ending
  • Technically incest
[-] ThePantser@lemmy.world 18 points 3 months ago

Would it be incest or masturbation?

[-] RangerJosie@sffa.community 14 points 3 months ago

Philosophers will ponder this for generations to come.

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

It would be deeply frustrating as every time you'd thrust, you'd move away from yourself.

[-] Psythik@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

That won't stop me from finding this porn on Paheal.

[-] Akasazh@feddit.nl 1 points 3 months ago

winsturbation

[-] myrrh@ttrpg.network 9 points 3 months ago

...you're going to need a reallly narrow hallway to pull that off and the rhythm would be 100% self-defeating...

[-] JadenSmith@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 months ago

Step 1: Place blue portal directly behind yourself.
Step 2: Place orange portal to your side.
Step 3: ???
Step 4: Awkward hospital visit

[-] JerkyChew@lemmy.one 19 points 3 months ago

I feel like, if this were possible it would give your brain the equivalent of a divide by zero error and you'd die on the spot.

[-] chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 3 months ago

Not really, our brain adjusts to weird stimuli pretty quickly. Sitting slightly painfully your body often ignores it until you try to move again and feel the pain then. Also limbs going numb due to blood loss. I once woke up and tried to get up but something heavy was on my left shoulder making it really hard.

It was my left arm, I didn't realize I couldn't feel or move it until I tried to get up, which automatically uses muscles in that arm.

[-] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 2 points 3 months ago

It's so weird when you're numb and you lift one of your limbs

[-] tfw_no_toiletpaper@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

You feel wrongly

[-] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

What would happen if I yanked on my own arm during that?

[-] Lodra@programming.dev 7 points 3 months ago

Wouldn’t there be a net zero force from pulling and being pulled?

It’sa little hard to think through but my best guess is nothing at all

[-] chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 3 months ago

Hmm, maybe like pulling your own arm now? Muscles can go into it but not your weight.

this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2024
558 points (99.3% liked)

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