Emigrate.

Shop around if you don't like your GP. Tell them your situation and ask them for a referal to every specialist under the sun. Get tested and innoculated for absolutely everything they suggest.

Colonoscopy

I'd say colonoscopy, esp if you're over 45, but those are required by law to have no out-of-pocket costs, regardless.

oh. go get a therapist--not physical; mental. they're insanely expensive, but you can spend the next three months shopping around and by the new year you'll have found someone you like!

Start a fist fight with a random stranger!

(not me please)

Is anything cracking or sore more than it should be? Time to go get that treated.

Some kind of general fitness testing?

You know, involving heart, lung capacity, performance?

Tape worm weight loss, or if you are already at a healthy weight start roids for a couple months

Go to all the specialists! And if therapy is covered, indulge in that, too.

Mole map