Apple hasn’t sold them in a few years anyway. It would only affect third party sellers.

Maybe something changed more recently to warrant a test?

The story feels like pop-science websites running with a story that's otherwise pretty boring regulatory proceedings.

The article says:

The French agency that regulates radio frequencies, the ANFR, has notified Apple of its decision to ban iPhone 12 sales after tests showed the Specific Absorption Rate (SAR) was above the allowed limit.

Followed by this quote:

The ANFR said it would verify that the iPhone 12 models were no longer being offered for sale in France starting today.

That sounds a lot like "banned" to me. Considering those two quotes, I don't think the article title is misleading. It sounds like they are banning sales effective immediately, and will force apple to conduct a recall if they can't retroactively fix the already sold units.

Would be weird if they waited after testing to find a good opportunity to make the announcement.

It's also not necessarily a win/loss since Apple could spin it like "we fixed it in the new one, get it"

it means you have the 5G waves coming out of your ears

Your head might have gotten a little bit warmer compared to someone using a different phone while calling, especially if you live in an area with poor coverage.

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Probably not, but you could look into any recalls / software updates.

I haven't read the specifics, but I think if you store it in a bag or something and don't leave it in contact with your body too long, you should be fine. If it was more serious, there would be more of an announcement

I believe it is per kg of body mass not the weight of the phone.

It's not per kilogram of the device. It's a measure of absorption per kilogram of body mass of the person using the device.

A good way to think about it is: throw a small piece of meat into the microwave and let it absorb some microwaves. It gets warm. Now imagine a much larger piece of meat. It can absorb a lot more microwaves before it starts getting warm. The smaller the 'body mass', the less radiation it can absorb and dissipate before becoming damaged. So when it comes to mobile device radiation levels, they focus on the watts of radiation absorbed per kilogram of body mass.

It's still relevant to ask the company to recall it / not produce more / get third party distributors to stop selling it

with a more modern standard

I don't think that's what's happening here?