I don't think anybody wants that kind of fake positivity but I by no means hold any of it against her. I'm somewhat disillusioned from it all and confused and concerned primarily since she says she's depressed, but change has to come from within sometimes.

she's got a job, hobbies, goals, dreams

Well not to be an asshole but that's just the bare minimum. I know plenty of people have less than that, hope that ain't you. Hope you're doing okay, internet stranger.

Edit: Wow people are downvoting this! I don't really get why

I don’t know about your friend, but someone may decide against dating apps if they’re looking for less superficial and meaningful connections.

Why? Every decently long-term relationship I've ever had was on dating apps. I don't think people still do the meet-at-work thing these days anyway. Not trying to be all "these days" tho I mean it literally, It was never really appropriate that is, because work is just prison you stay in to have a roof over your head, any socialization there is inherently forced and highly problematic.

As for clubs now that's proper shallow, not to mention dangerous with all the spice and ndma, not that there's any of em left on these cursed isles, all shuttered and sold off for parts to the chinese years ago, bless em.

Besides, she's trans and bi, same as myself, the chances of finding someone who'll be interested in her amongst just a random selection of people in forced socialization spaces are closer to nill than god to baby jesus.

To think otherwise and even get depressed about it demonstrates to me that someone is just utterly out of touch with all reality, and that's damn concerning.

The one guy she did meet cheated on her cuz he assumed the whole thing was a joke cuz why would he date a lady who couldn't make babies. Not the sorta caliber folk you get on dating apps. Closest thing I ever got was a guy who was totally a six feet CompSci but could fit in some of my old pockets and couldn't tell an hackintosh from a docker if the yaml wrote him

Like, I used to think my prince in shining armor was gonna sweep me off my feet when I was 17 fresh she/her posting for attention and found him on good ol' r9k, 'cept the reality was I was in an abusive LDR with a shady jobless alcoholic 10 years older than me from Arizona with a psycho brother in tow and a love for first gen anti-histamines. Like full on jumping naked on cars in gated communities type psycho. Think they're both maga nuts now.

Now that's understandable, I was a child, didn't have my head on straight, couldn't see that dog won't hunt. Hell I just transitioned that year, only knew jack and shit and jack skipped town to get estrofem two miligram.

But she's 30, like, I just want to tell her "time to get on the dating apps and fight for scraps amongst those creepy high school marriage divorcees cuz you were too good for all the good ones" but I'm afraid she'll snap or something.

People like what they like

That's a thought-terminating cliche. If you ate assorted dust for breakfast it's damn weird, there's no way around it, but if you have a reason for it, like maybe it just makes you feel less bloated or something, you can talk about it - you can connect with people over it. It ain't nothing if not interesting. Show em that you think, that you do somethin' with all that oxygen you hog.

But if you don't then it's not very surprising if people assume you must be dimmer than a flashlight when you need one. You don't owe justification to anyone but it damn well helps when you live in a society.

It could be. I just don't feel that way. I feel like I'm always happier because the outcome is seldom the worst. Doesn't pessimistic thinking usually make for depressed people?