Actually I have this kind of conversations. I don't care so much about monkey problems
I wish I knew why small talk is important and why the example in the post is a problem. It would be helpful if someone could explain it.
If you date someone for 2+ years, at that point, you know what their opinions are on all meaningful topics. All there is left to discuss is small talk: how's your day, did you like the TV show, etc.
Unless your both happy sitting in silence, you'll probably drift apart.
Edit: I think the issue a lot of people here have is not small talk itself, its small talk with strangers. Asking a loved one about their day is small talk, but that doesn't diminish its value.
I've been married for 7 years. I do ask my wife how her day was, but that is because I actually care. How can people do this with strangers? Is it just assumed everyone is asking everyone else how their day was even if they don't actually care?
Tbh, I don't know, I don't like chatting to strangers either, but when a stranger asks how my day is, or how the weather is, I assume they don't really care. Which means I can lie to them to wrap it up if I want. The level of care is probably proportional to the closeness? Small talk with partner == important, care a lot, small talk with neighbour == less important, less care, small talk with stranger == not important, no care?
I also care about the "how was your day" convo with my partner, but I consider it small talk as there is usually nothing critically important about it. Its not gonna result in a major financial or life decision 99% of the time.
Yeah, that depends what you mean by small talk. I think you know what you mean, but I'm not sure that we know what you mean.
Small talk stinks
Small talk stinks
See the young man in his new gown
Talking up to his bouffant drag
He says he loves you with flowers
Something that he's never had
A sentence should be like a serpent
Quick with a sting in its tail
-bauhaus, Small Talk Stinks
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