We old people were raised well, dammit! We had wired earphones! Then Apple cocked up and tried to make expensive wireless earphones fashionable. And look where that lead us. That's right, kids not knowing what earphones even are. Fuck you technobros, you can't do anything right.

(Posted from my HMD Global Nokia 5.4, which does have a headphone jack, thank you very much) (Sorry if abrasive, mildly drunk)

This person should text-to-speech this tweet on public transport

This man is incapable of having a bad take.

More merciful than I would be if I got to pick the punishment.