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i'm so sick of having to pretend to be a dead boring normie just to be able to interact with people IRL
like nobody ever has any fucking spark of life or convictions, none of these worthless liberals believe in anything
They believe in a lot that doesn’t even touch a boundary tbh
It really is extremely soulless and forces you to step in line with all socially acceptable conversation pieces
I always get a “we’re all just trying to get by” thought terminating cliche whenever I say something implying that a minority group shouldn’t have to suffer
Personally, I'm pretty cagey about my politics until I've talked to someone a few separate times. The closest I'll get is complaining about rent and the price of groceries, but in a non-systemic way that allows people to air their own political dirty laundry.
I don't really have it in me to start arguments at the mo
Yep that’s exactly it
What do you mean by "anything other than life things?"
A lot of "normal people" I've met for the first times love gossiping about their personal life, to the point I'm learning more about their extended family than my own in just 30 minutes
Usually what people do for work and their outlook on the sociopolitical landscape is about as far as it goes for me tbh
Ya low the more that I yap about this, the more I’m concerned that I’m just staying in my comfort zone and don’t know how to get out.
Reading the comments i gotta say y'all gotta feel free to be more weird. Be yourselves. You don't need to be anyone for anyone's approval unless you're living in their house.
If they don't like you, so what? You showed them who you were and if they didn't like it they saved you the trouble of figuring out if they're an asshole or not.
I am a very antisocial person, maybe my advice is bad, but in my experience people tend to appreciate authenticity in people most of all and most people will respond positively if you just be yourself, as long as you're not an asshole to them
but in my experience people tend to appreciate authenticity in people most of all
This heavily depends on what social circle you are existing in, largely just how secure those people are in themselves
Kinda depends on the weird. Weird politics (or politics in general really) aren't great party topics.
In the West**
The Latin Americans I've met casually talk about politics allll the time, even in my American workplace (which makes the Americans look soooo uncomfortable lmao)
It is really hard to meet people as an adult. Have you considered Meetup groups or something similar? If it's a hobby group, then at least when you go, you have a thing to talk about that's built in. That might be more promising than your current frustrating experience.
The only use of small talk is verging into something that's not small talk. Sometimes this is successful, sometimes not.
you get invited to parties?
I've never been invited to anything. I don't even know where I'd begin.
Sorta strug along as the token misfit most times
how do you get invited to parties?
Hell if I know, doesn’t happen often
Like once every two years or something so I’m by no means a party person
befriend people who host them or go to them, tell them you're in a party mood
befriend people who host them or go to them
currently have no friends and nowhere I can go to make any, or I would. lol
do you live in some rural hellhole
It's not rural, but it is an isolating hellhole of a city.
well no offense but ye shouldnt live your whole life like you are
cut roots and move (if you can?)
well obviously I'd love to be able to do that, but I'd triple my rent at a minimum if I move out and I can't really afford it.
damn - yep, that's the way it is these days
it's tough making that step too because once you start renting you start treading water and pissing money into someone else's mortgage
I mean, you can kinda talk about whatever. Something you watched or read recently, something fun you did, a big event in your life, sports, or really anything you find interesting. A lot of the time you can just let the other person talk, most people like talking about themselves.
Important caveat is that work related parties are usually not real parties, they're for networking. If someone at the party can fire you or hire you, there's not much to talk about other than work. Sometimes it's okay if your coworkers are chill.
Find a group, do small talk, do the group activity, mention the stuff you're doing on the weekend, invite them in a low-pressure way.
If they go, you made a friend. If they say no but express polite interest, maybe offer once more next week. Otherwise, keep the small talk and move to the next person.
this post was submitted on 27 Oct 2024
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