Dang. It took until I saw that https://www.infowars.com/posts/not-so-fast-judge-halts-infowars-sale-to-onion-due-to-shady-auction-procedures had Alex Jones' Twitter in red from Shinigami Eyes to realize that this wasn't supposed to be an Onion parody, because it would really be funny for the Onion to have pretended this was the case if it weren't