15
When is it the right time to give up?
(sh.itjust.works)
never.
I have felt before like "nothing's going right and nothing is ever going to go right" as you seem to be.
Only the first half of that feeling might be true and the second is definitely untrue. It's not going to be perfect either, but it will be a mix of nice things, amazing things, annoying things and awful things.
If something is not working, try something else. That "something else" may be another method to get it work, or it may just be replacing your original goal with a different one.
Either way, success will come to you, as long as you take care of yourself and keep in good health, are open to broaden your definition of success and not focus on a singular objective that everything must go perfectly as planned. You've made it this far in life, that is a success in itself and I know you are capable of much more when you set your mind to it.
There are lot of things you can give up, the main thing is not to give up on yourself. Take breaks as you need. Start by fixing even the tiniest thing that needs fixing in your life, like picking up one sock off the floor, or wiping down your bathroom sink. Instead of thinking you've lost everything, start from what you have and build from there.
Even in the best of times, there's been news that has brought despair to me. The way to overcome it is to tune it out a bit, with music, with fresh air, or if it's a chronic problem, with therapy and treatment based on a physician's recommendation, and reframe your focus to things you can accomplish, have accomplished and will accomplish.
You don't give up ever.
You pursue a better solution whenever one presents itself.
When a better path forward has presented itself
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then give up; don't make yourself look like a fool."
Can't remember where I first saw that quote, but it stuck with me.
There's no one answer fits all.
On life? Never. On your goals? Depends. On self-destructive behaviour? Now. On those you love? Never. On business ventures that don't take off? You tell me.
Point is: life is rarely black & white. Treat it with the color and nuance that makes it what it is.
Why never on life, just asking. If it was completely ruined from the start, why not give up? If you spill ink over a painting, it's ruined and you toss it out.
The japanese philosophy of Kintsugi may help you look at things differently. Impurities are what make us all unique. Nothing in nature is perfect.
https://www.bbc.com/travel/article/20210107-kintsugi-japans-ancient-art-of-embracing-imperfection
Sure, life can be incredibly tough, and it's understandable to feel overwhelmed at times. However, unlike a painting, life isn't a static object. It has ups and downs, and even when things seem completely ruined, there's always potential for change, growth and even thriving. I actually have a little experience with that.
Staying with your analogy: if you spill ink on a painting, you might see it as ruined at first. But some artists use those accidents to create something new and beautiful. Like so, life can take unexpected turns, and what seems like a disaster now might lead to new opportunities. I am the person I am partly due to troubles and disasters in my life. Could I do without those? Sure. Should I? Not sure.
That all said, if you're feeling like ending it all I can only encourage you to reach out for support. Talking to friends, family, or a mental health professional in your area can make a big difference.
Your life is valuable. You are important and valuable.
You're not alone. Definitely not with life. There are people who care about you and want to help.
It's practically impossible to fix a painting covered in ink. It's never too late for a life to change.
I’ve seen you struggling with existential questions a lot here. Are you going to therapy?
There are so many people who deserve it more, now why would I block them from receiving help, so I could be an even bigger burdensome waste of resources? Bruh, come on. My mother literally took food from a food bank that she didn't need, made each family member (except me because I'd escape) do it and take 4 times the amount alotted to each household, to just NOT use. Literally wasting resources that someone in need could use. Why would I do that myself?
I'm just saying if your life was ruined at the start then it's ruined forever, either continue living a ruined life or give up.
Hatte to be mister smarty-pants here, but empirically if your life was ruined from the start, your chances of recovery through therapy are actually much higher then for someone who ruined it himself/got Ill later on in life.
The thing is: finding therapy that works for you is a process on its own. You will likely have to try a lot of them to find a good one who has free slots. But you will find one eventually and if you have it does help!
Just one word of caution: go to to ones who actually have a Dr./major/magister in psychology and are registered doctors.
I hope you life in a country with good universal healthcare, if so you can just go to a therapist (they offer single sittings for cases like that) and discuss with him what kind of therapy could work for you and what the next address can be.
I am someone who is not religious and believes everyone should have a free decision if they want to live or not, but my galeart says: man, don't give yourself up, especially not because of damage inflicted on you by others. All the best from germany
You have all the right to claim a spot in society and use the resources it offers you. It is not wasted! You can turn things around if you really try. I would really urge you to seek out therapy.
On life? If I have an extremely disabling condition to my mind or I can expect to die soon with a very low quality of life.
I don't see addiction as being that disabling as there are a lot of available resources to treat addiction and a high enough success rate to try.
I think putting over 10 years towards a goal and never achieving it means you should just give up
What goal?
Cutting ties with family and moving out. Every apartment costs at least 20% more than I make monthly, a mortgage is out of the question after losing my credit last year, and working while living with these people is not sustainable. Every roommate is basically family but worse and there's no way I'm moving out from living with family to live with someone worse than family. Even if I find roommates that aren't nicotine or marijuana users, they'll be something worse the minute I'm stuck with them. No one knows how it feels being the only person who doesn't use that stuff, and being antagonized by groups of people withdrawing from it.
Maybe throwing up walls and assuming something will be wrong with somebody before you've even met them is shooting yourself in the foot a bit, don't ya think?
Ah, its okay to live with parents. I mean you might have other reason to want to move out, and I get that. People want independence, and that's okay. But like in this economy, its probably not a good idea to try living by yourself unless you get lucky and find a high paying job.
If your parents are okay with you staying with them, you should stay. Because if you cant afford to live by yourself, then roommates are necessary, but then when you think about it, aren't parents just like roommates? I mean you can think of parents like roomates that happen to be related to you. I mean, I have a relative that have a few of rentals as investment and their tenants are always either romantically involved, or roommates. Like nobody in this economy is really living by themselves.
TLDR; If your parents are okay with you living with them, then just accept their welcome. Not every parent allows their kids to live with them. Its not your fault, its the economy.
Edit: Well its also the housing crisis. Both the economy and housing crisis are to blame.
I disagree. Living independently can be of massive importance for some people’s mental health. If this person needs 20% more money and they feel like their parents contributed to their stunted growth, they should consider side hustles like Uber, DoorDash, Fiver, or a part time job.
this post was submitted on 23 Nov 2024
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