Slackware! It checks zero of your boxes, but you should still try it because it's the best.
What's slackware
Slackware is the oldest distro still being actively maintained. It's a fully featured and modern distro. KDE Plasma is the default DE but you can also choose XFCE, fluxbox and a few others out of the box or install whatever you like. It's a different way of doing things and it's not for everyone. But I've been using it more or less continuously since 1998 or 1999.
It has two versions. LTS is currently version 15. Slackware current is a bleeding edge rolling release. Eventually, they will take current and build a release candidate and then that will be the upgraded LTS version. There are also live boot ISOs available for anyone to try.
Link to Slackware 15 ISO: https://mirrors.slackware.com/slackware/slackware-iso/slackware64-15.0-iso/ Link to Slackware current ISO (updated more or less daily): https://slackware.nl/slackware/slackware64-current-iso/ Link to LiveSlak ISOs: https://docs.slackware.com/slackware:liveslak Link to the documentation: https://docs.slackware.com/start
Yes, good 'ol Slackware I had a Vector Linux period!!
For MakulukuLinux, to take full advantage of the AI , you have to pay to upgrade. I am an Arch user and tried it out for a bit, it was a bit limiting without unlocking the AI functions. Now, this was about 6 or so months ago, so it may have improved some.
My recommendation is to install qemu or VirtualBox or Gnome Boxes and test drive them there.
I have an older spare laptop to play on. But, yes I am not going to jeopardize my personal laptop just to play.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Linux is a family of open source Unix-like operating systems based on the Linux kernel, an operating system kernel first released on September 17, 1991 by Linus Torvalds. Linux is typically packaged in a Linux distribution (or distro for short).
Distributions include the Linux kernel and supporting system software and libraries, many of which are provided by the GNU Project. Many Linux distributions use the word "Linux" in their name, but the Free Software Foundation uses the name GNU/Linux to emphasize the importance of GNU software, causing some controversy.
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