951
Self perception
(slrpnk.net)
A wife would know exactly what it means and how to do this.
Two people who care about each other will provide all forms of validation and support that someone needs. This is kind of the point of being in a relationship, a partner who makes you feel like [insert thing you want to feel like] when you need it, and you give that validation back to them as they require it.
We seem to have gone severely off-course when we started expecting a world full of uncaring strangers to give us all kinds of validation for things.
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This whole “like a man” thing sounds to me like an extension of the toxic cultural BS where “men” are not just humans with emotions and needs like every other human. It reeks of men who are too scared or ignorant to be self-aware and figure out what life really means to them, and thus they need the people around them (especially the partners) to play along in their power/masculinity fantasy.
What a man needs is to realize he’s just another human, and that for humans happiness and fulfillment can ultimately only come from within. Relationships with others are crucial, and you might even need some medication to get your brain chemistry unfucked, but neither of those are independently going to make you happy with yourself and “feel like a man.”
“A man” can refer to roughly half the adult population. It’s not exactly an exclusive club. Why not leave gender out if it and try to be “a good person” and see where that gets you?
Having the people around you walking on eggshells to keep your manly ego intact, whether it’s out of fear or pity, is the exact opposite of what a good person should strive for. What if the people around you instead trust you, feel safe with you, laugh with you, and are better off with you in their lives?
Source: Am man. Went through some stuff. Figured some things out. Made some things better. Have wife and child who enjoy life.
But maybe you could still pretend I am a strong man every once in a while anyway? As a treat?
no... oh... okay...
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I mean it’s right there in the quote. They want to feel like a man. They don’t actually want to be one.
Normalize feeling like a man as somebody who is given space to feel anything beyond anger or shame. A man needs to feel like he can talk about things on his mind at any given time, to anybody he trusts. A man is somebody who can cry when he is hurting, and it be okay; that he won’t be labeled as weak or a coward.
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What makes a man ? is it being prepared to do the right thing, no matter the cost ?
No. That's just what makes a good person. Pretty much the same with every other "Being a man means yadda yadda yadda" I've ever heard so far. Every time, what follows are a list of qualities that make a good person/human, and are neither exclusive to men, nor counterfactual for women. To think otherwise would be to imply that women don't/can't/shouldn't possess those qualities (I'm not saying you thought otherwise Hadriscus; I'm just taking my thought to the next logical step).
I don't have a satisfying answer for what "makes a man" because I reject the entire concept that there is any list of qualities of what makes a [gender]; or that one is even needed. The closest could be a pair of testicles (per Laser's reply), but then we'd enter into a trans debate and frankly I support trans-rights.
Or to really sum it all up, the entire debate is just a bunch of gatekeeping and social identity politics ("man" and "woman" both) that really is just stupid and counterproductive to us all getting along.
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What makes a man? Is it the power in his hands? Or is it his quest for glory?
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this post was submitted on 24 Nov 2024
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