Please let it be Boebert. I need some entertainment 🍿

Git kinda has it? Have you seen git notes? https://git-scm.com/docs/git-notes

They're also so old they were compiled without any modern instrumentation, e.g. stack canaries.

Yup: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dead_baby_jokes

Reminds of the dead baby jokes from my day. Like why? Too horrible to be funny.

An intellectually honest essay would "steel man" the opposing arguments, then proceed to demonstrate why they're all wrong. Unfortunately, you don't get the opportunity to be intellectually honest when you're assigned a conclusion.

Venmo is owned by PayPal, so that might not solve anything

Only a Sith Lord deals in absolutes

One pill makes you smaller

A honeypot!

Snarky but true. MIPS actually is common in network equipment. It's niche, but not completely unused. Also, it's really an excellent instruction set for teaching.

Microwaves travel through space at the speed of light because they are photons