And lobsters are scorpion mermaids.

I'll always remember the kid who broke both his arms and his helpful mom.

Friend: Brings up really cool idea for something to do

Me: Awesome! When do you wanna do it?

Friend: blank stare uhhh, I'll have to figure it out, this week isn't good

EVERY TIME

Love how even IRL people forget about Frank Grimes. good ol Grimey

Damn girl you think with that prefrontal cortex?

What an amazing landlord, I'll make sure to tip extra well this month.

What if we held hands through the grave hole 😳👉👈

I'm apparently the archeologist over here with my Model M and its buckling springs.

I feel this. I'm not socially awkward, can speak in front of a crowd just fine, but my brain just can't figure out what "flirting" actually is. I'm aware it's a form of conversation different from normal talking that expresses attraction, but as for how it's different, how to do it etc.

I'm in the dark and no friend of mine has been able to give a clear answer.

So happy I deleted my 4chan account, really helped curb my desire to kill the women I date.

Dude went from eccentric inventor to powerpoint presenter