I put a gun to my head, ready to end it all.

Woke up in a hospital. No drugs involved.

I drove myself there. The gun was in the glove compartment. Apparently, I self admitted through ED.

I remember NOTHING from gun to my head to waking up in the hospital.

Not sure if that qualifies as near death, but I think I was.

I am better now. That was years ago, I came close again recently, but this time I have answers about myself and a place to start.

Can we fucking not.

Try to take the time to care for your mental and emotional health when you need to, then, instead of stewing for years and years. I made the mistake of rolling with it, turned 35, and I'm lucky to still be here at 40.

Still struggling. Wish I'd spoken with someone years ago.

I work retail. People walk up to me like I'm a robot.

"Duck tape??" They just... Bark at me. I have gotten to the point that I refuse to tell them where something is until they treat me like a human being and ask a very simple question, "where's duck tape?"

My retirement plan is to die in the climate wars.

You missed Vladimir Putin and Pete Buttigieg!

First thing in the morning I chug a tall glass of water. Somehow that's actually made a healthy difference.

I haven't eaten enough crayons to be able to fully understand that...

Wait, you guys have retirement accounts?

Yeah, and I'm fairly certain he bought the right to be called 'founder' of Tesla... From the founders.

"Became clear..."

At what point was it not clear? Form 4473 is really straightforward on this!

There's losing sight, and then there's trying to find it. I remember a short video where a toddler was wandering straight for a road, and someone happened to prevent a tragedy, and mom came running out of the house as the camera was still rolling.

People were calling negligence, what a terrible mom, yadda yadda. No, that mom was running around the house looking for her kid, frantic as time passed. You just don't think they can open the door that early. Manipulating a door latch or knob is a developmental milestone, plus, what if the door didn't properly latch? Mom could just as easily looked outside first, but that would be counterintuitive.

Also, "I thought you had him/her?" Is a real thing.