I remember one from 3rd grade. We were all quiet working on an assignment. Our teacher was loved and respected, so we behaved well. You could ~~here~~ hear every single thing in that room; it was that quiet. Shit, it was so quiet, you could hear the quiet. So a kid named Alex gets up to talk to the teacher, but when he stands up, he rips a loud and crispy fart. It was a textbook fart, crescendo-ing an octave of pitch. If you can hear it your head now, then you know what I'm talking about. The kid froze with an embarrassed smile and holding a paper. We could see his face start blushing. The class erupted in laughter. He sat back down, folded his arms on his desk, and hid his face in them.

It was at this moment that we all realized Alex was bad. Jk. We thought it was really funny and that's it. Alex and I went to different schools from 4th - 9th grade, but I ran back into him at school in 10th. We took a summer class together. The dude was a trip. Funny af.

edit: see strike through

Updated:

NSFW

Biden is loyal to Ukraine because the wife of the mayor of Moscow gave gim money. The wife of the mayor of the capital city of the country that invaded Ukraine gave Biden money for him to use the US government support Ukraine against Russia. Makes perfect sense 👌

Wtf was that rant about Biden selling the country to Ukraine?? lol

I want a shitty made-up quotes community. I don't want to moderate one, so I request that someone please make it and bump me with a link 😁

And then at the end, you think to yourself, "Ok, no, for real. I'm going pay attention," and repeat the cycle 👌

Nothing much. I'm just chilling for next 20 mins. What's up with you?

lmaooooo

I will never be this clever 😢

what should I know about the clitoris before I have sex?

In my experience, the clit is the key to her enjoyment. Every girl is different, so you have to pay attention to how they react to how you touch it. Some girls like light slow touch, while others like very fast flicks. Some like light slow touch at first, then very fast intense flicks towards the end. I've had girls that need a lot of stimulation, and girls that find a lot of stimulation overwhelming. Listen to their moans and how their body moves. If you get a girl that doesn't show a difference either way, then ask her. If she is still being secretive, then don't worry about it too much and just enjoy your time. Don't go directly for the clit at first. Play around with the pussy area first, slowly getting to the clit.

am I right in assuming my partner will tell me what she wants me to do?

It's been my experience that most girls will guide you indirectly. Very few will tell you exactly what they like. If you get one that does, you have won the lottery. Otherwise, they will guide you indirectly.

In general, just have fun. Sex is naturally enjoyable. Above all, communication is key, but some people feel uncomfortable with being direct about it, so they communicate indirectly and that's okay. Listen to the language they choose to use. Regardless, don't take sex too serious, and you'll be okay. Good luck!

If I shot everyone my dog barks at, I'd be committing genocide. This motherfucker barks at every single person that walks by the house. Yet, as soon as the doors open, she's their best friend. WHAT IS SHE BARKING FOR?!?!

I dont understand how cum made it on the bucket

Music is a pattern of wiggling air. Color is just a frequency of wiggling because all light is wiggling, but not a pattern of frequencies. I think it would be more congruent is the statement were "movies are just the wiggling of the electromagnetic field".

Follow me for more pedantic corrections!

Disclaimer: I am not technically a physicist.