Fair, but that's the same problem human thinkers face. Faulty inputs == faulty outputs. You should always be validating your sources.

no hot filaments...

There may not be filaments, but heat is still an issue for LEDs.

Some bulb manufacturers basically overdrive cheaper diodes to get extra brightness at the cost of generating extra heat. Some of those manufacturers compensate for the heat in some way, others don't even bother and produce bulbs with a service life of months instead of decades. Some of these are fly-by-night online sellers that won't exist anymore by the time their products start to fail. Others are established brands that people will blindly purchase based on a reputation that no longer matches reality. There are some reliable brands out there if you read up on it, but why the fuck should we have to research every little inane item in our life?

Aside from corporate greed, though, there are other reasons heat causes early LED bulb failure. Two common ones are incompatible devices on the same circuit (like light dimmers), and installing the bulb in an enclosure without adequate heat dissipation (like a ceiling 'boob' light).

I've been all LED for well over a decade, and have had a good experience so far. I personally tend to buy smart bulbs that can put out way more light than I need, and run them at 20-50% brightness most of the time. Feit Electric and Govee's basic smart bulbs have been pretty reliable for me, but I admit I'm a pretty small sample size. I know I'm paying a premium for that approach, but it's not unreasonable and I do prefer not having to worry about it.

Anybody that lives above other people and drops any heavy item on the floor intentionally is a dick, there's no maybe involved here.

At first I thought it was three separate ones. The disappointment is real.

There's always the Jewel Cooler:

Don't forget Swiss Army Man!

15 square meters isn't the same as 15m×15m, it'd be a little smaller than 4m×4m. Still a big hole.

The 'S' in IOT stands for Secure

We definitely whip shitties in WI, too.

For those wondering, this played out well! OP found someone to take the job. His wife bit on the prank gleefully, was actually thrilled by the idea that OP had a son he didn't know about. When the prank was revealed, she thought it was hilarious. Ultimately pretty wholesome, OP married a keeper.

Doesn't happen with spacecraft either, despite what Hollywood often depicts. In order to 'stop' in space, you actually have to generate thrust. The scary thing that can happen if you lose your engine in space isn't getting stuck in one place, it's smashing into your destination at full speed.

Lucifer