I bought a different brand of massager, for massaging, and it works really well for loosening tight muscles and easing pain. Highly recommend getting one.

It did come with some attachments that seem tailored to groin muscles, but those can live in the junk drawer.

And yes, everyone who sees it in my house makes a joke about using it to whack-off, but I have no problem with that.

no, don't do that

if the MBTA ever gets its shit together, cars could disappear entirely in the city

don't hold your breath for that one

you mean the people that were cheering on the glorious tanks during the Tiananmen square parade

offshore drilling could be jammed in the background, too

the ongoing July

remember kids: always use a clean straw for your booger sugar!

the only multi tool I need:

I'm reading it as, Lemmings nervously worried we were entertained by the self-inflicted plight of a user that may have caused them cognitive decline.

also, poop joke funny

Starshit Troopers

the old town information road

TAKE OFF EVERY MEME