Do they really? What the fuck. What happened to proper heat pump AC systems?

Yup. Water cooling is a closed circuit (unless you shit money or have a near unlimited supply, like with a river nearby). We've been water-cooling all kinds of shit in data centers and production plants forever. In fact, direct water cooling is more efficient than traditional AC, because you don't need to blow a bunch of air around, you just apply cold water to the hot parts, and cool the water back down afterwards. Sensitive stuff uses deionised water anyway, but I don't know if they care enough for DCs. That is kind of expensive to produce and maintain, you really try to avoid larger leaks and spills.

There are plenty of issues with the datacenters, from the bullshit on-site gas turbines to noise pollution to using up the world's RAM supply to the whole replacing humans with "AI" issue. But all of those could be solved with proper regulation.

so they didn’t know they would be killing people? That the war was unjust? Have they paid attention to any war the US was in before signing up for the least moral army in the world?

Exactly my point. Propaganda and group pressure are strong factors. Army recruiters don't exactly go around showing you videos of war crimes. This does not absolve anyone from making their own decisions, of course. And once you are in, getting out is hard, and you are actively pressured against it.

yeah they run for congress

they do not “believe they did the right thing”

Aren't those two statements contradicting each other? The guy you quote seems to believe he was doing nothing wrong.

My statements may be a bit generalising, but I would bet a surprisingly large chunk of people who are part of war crimes and abuse do not believe they were in the wrong. Now, why they do this is a good question, maybe it is the mind trying to protect itself, maybe they are really the kind of psychopaths that are usually kept in check by society.

the gas chambers famously weren’t ok after, but a complete mess

I would love to see some sources for that, because from all the anecdotes I have heard, many people who were actively involved in the Nazi genocides were mostly concerned about persecution.

no abuse similar to abu ghraib or the concentration camps is known to me

A statement I would have expected more from a .ml user.

That is certainly some experience, and a good life lesson. I just want to remark, if my best friends disappeared for a week, I would assume they just wanted to disappear for a week, and had their reasons to not tell me. Doesn't mean I don't care about them.

Obviously, people online and even good irl friends cannot replace professional therapy.

I've seen both, the "social default" of having a somewhat ok relationship with one's parents, and people in certain circles who tend to assume that there must be at least some difficulties.

This is all from my experience as someone who moved to the countryside as a kid, so, feel free to disregard anything that does not match your situation. I am writing this in the hope that it's useful, but knowing that it might not apply. I have never lived in Denmark, and if the people are similar to Frisians, I can imagine how it is.

I am not sure if I misunderstood you or not. I am born in this country as well, as are my parents and their parents, we all look clearly European, speak the regional dialect and so on. But we made the mistake of moving from a city to a village about 60km away. That already means we count as foreigners in the minds of many people.

If your family does not have ties to the village you are in, or at least to the neighbouring villages, you are a foreigner. Of course, it is mostly old and grumpy people, but it is what it is, sadly. It's even more stupid than the "normal" racism.

As for joining clubs and such, there isn’t a lot of interesting clubs in my area and those that seem interesting are at least an hour away

No, my point was this: if you want to be part of the "in group", join the local club. Even if you don't like it, if you think the people are stupid or if you are not interested in the topic. The goal is not to find new friends, the goal is to be seen as "Nangijala from the tennis club" and not "Nangijala who just moved here, 20 years ago". Even then, some particularly stupid people will barely tolerate you, be prepared that they'll still do some things without you because your parents did not go to the same primary school.

Then, of course, there is the whole idea about not having the same interest. Narrow-minded people are narrow-minded, and with the local club or tradition, the goal is to be part of the group. It's fine to have weird interests, as long as you have some things other people and you can connect on.

but I’m not going partying with people who are “functional” alcoholics

Your mileage may vary, and certainly, things are moving in the right direction even compared to 10, 20 years ago. Over here, heavy drinking is quite socially accepted, because many people are unable to have a genuine conversation or be interesting while sober. A few permille of beer, and they will be more accepting, open, and "funny". Unfortunately, it is the great social lubricant, and some people never learned to enjoy company while sober. I also don't really see the point in that, I am not against alcohol and the effects of a beer or three in good company, but I've seen it being pushed to another level in village festivities.

That is a bit of a hen-egg question, isnt it? Do people in certain circles see their parents negatively because the circles echo such thoughts, or because such circles attract people like that? I have no definite answer, tbh.

Maybe it is because those circles make it easier to speak about such things?

Maybe because someone who experienced hardships themselves might turn to more "left" ideas to avoid this happening to others?

I personally am very grateful to my parents, they sacrificed a lot of potential happiness for their children. And yes, they are flawed human beings in a flawed world, who make mistakes, have some issues of themselves and so on. But psychology is messy, fuzzy, and hard to wrap in nice logical statements.

Unfortunately, the people that most deserve it are the ones that have zero issues.

The ones who tried to survive in something that turned out much different than what they thought or what they were sold are the ones who get fucked up by it.

I guarantee you the people behind Abu Ghraib are sleeping well and believe they did the right thing. As did the people who manned the Gulag watchtowers, the Nazi gas chambers or whatever.

"Society" hates you? Then suicide would only be a net gain if you cared about everyone's feelings equally. Fuck the bigoted mouthbreathers that would cheer to see you dead, every day you survive despite the odds is a tiny middle finger.

Pissing in Jeff Bezos' morning coffee would probably make him unhappy as well, yet I'd gladly do it and not feel bad about it. Respect and tolerance are an opt-in thing. If someine denies it to others, they don't deserve it themselves

Besides, recognize the symptoms of depression. It is a valid health issue, and it is hard to examine your brain using your own brain. But it helps to make an effort to mentally separate thoughts that would make no sense to an un-depressed person.

Fair, but I believe it is different to do this as. a job, with strangers, and to experience it with close people. Still sucks.

I think in the bubbles that we are in, including Lemmy, people with bad parents are overrepresented. Simply because of sexual minorities, progressive or radical ideas, or just plain old not conforming to the norm in terms of behaviour and character.

Plenty of people never had an issue with their parents, but also, plenty of people never had to tell their parents that they are homosexual, think their political beliefs are stupid, and have ADHD, for instance.

Plus, I would say that lonely people tend to flock together, likewise, people with no strong family ties probably end up using the internet more.

As someone from the northern European countryside, you'll never fully fit in. You need to have at least several generations of ~~incest~~ family ties to be seen as a true native. Best you can hope for is "they're alright for outsiders, I guess".

What helps, if you want to fit in better, is joining the usual clubs. At my place, that meant (for men at least) things like voluntary firefighters, men's choir, and tennis/football clubs. Also, show up on traditional festivities and events, and be prepared to drink. Functional alcoholics are suspicious of people who don't drink with them, so if you cannot or don't want to keep up with them, excuse yourself early and say you need to drive/take care of your kids/work tomorrow early.

Actually, half of that advice goes for any context, not just rednecks.