I have no snout yet I must oink.

It was in NYC on a not very busy road late at night and Donglover was outside with some of the other cast just to chat with fans. This was in 2009 I think so before he blew up in popularity. He talked to me and my friends for a little while and remembered me from when I went to a Derrick improv show a few years prior.

I was not in the least bit intoxicated but I guess the lack of sleep combined with talking to some of my favorite comedians gave me some kind of high. There was a group of college age guys, probably 10-15 of them, on the other side of the road drinking beer and being obnoxious. One of them threw a bottle into the street and it shattered.

In my infinite wisdom, I yelled at them, called them littering motherfuckers or words to that effect. They immediately started crossing the street to fuck my shit up. Donald steps in front of me and yells "he's drunk he didn't mean it!". They decided to turn around and continue on their way instead of kicking my ass. Donald turns around, grabs me by the shoulders and shakes me, saying "you can't say that shit here!"

I owe that man my life.

Recreational sports should have no boundaries. When you get into professional sports, the topic becomes a lot more dicey.

I do that with my dishes too

I dono this might be too interesting to be a shitpost

What am I gonna do? Not get closer to whatever is making my prostate vibrate?

Huge missed opportunity to say he was fluttered

Mine was Sandy. She would always ask if the equipment was going to work and I would always say "it should" and she hated that because she wanted a guarantee. I'd always say "if I could guarantee it, I wouldn't have a job".

Wow what a bunch of sheep. Everyone knows Tupac and Biggie faked the feud and their own deaths to sell more records. They live together in Thug Mansion but they spend holidays in Gangtas Paradise.

It's a good way to get prion disease for sure.

God I hate when meme formats are completely misused.

It's so hot, I poured McDonald's coffee on my lap to cool off.