If there's someone you don't like, you only have to deal with them as much as your other relationships need you to.

Your MIL is awful -> engage with her only as much as your spouse expects you to.

If she's a total bitch and your spouse expects you to be besties and you can't talk it out -> re-evaluate your relationship

What kind of people you have around you determine what kind of people you're expected to put up with.

What is important to you determines what kind of people you have around you.

Definitely hope it's on Fediverse on some level.

Yes

Also quite literally go touch grass. Take a friend with you. Don't take devices if you're worried.

Are we going to have yet another round of "everyone should be free to do whatever they want except set up groups with mutual interests"? People want some magical force in the universe, beyond human conventions, that prevents any person or group from gaining power over another.

Yep. It's especially cringe when people ignore centuries of philosophical discussion. Often smugly.

Great example is when people refer to Richard Dawkins' books as proof that there is no god. Nothing like a Reddit atheist to make me embarrassed to not believe in god.

Still hoping to come up with some reason to make a website. Used to have one way back when, it was great! Glad to see there's a revival.

You being distracted by my bullshit sounds awful lot like a you problem.

Well fucking said. Everyone’s ready to bitch about the system, until you ask them to live anywhere near like the people who are actually getting crushed by it. The performative outrage in this thread is a bad joke to the people who build our phones, sew our clothes, and mine our lithium. To them, we’re not revolutionaries. We’re the elite’s pampered pets, barking at the leash but gladly gobbling up all the treats they throw at us. People are getting mad about AI: guess fucking what, the outrage itself is a treat. The Epstein files are a treat. Anything that keeps you glued to the screen, ignoring everything that is actually around you is a treat. It's your programmed Two Minutes of Hate.

Revolutions happen with real people willing to make sacrifices, working together and giving others real, tangible reasons to want to support them. Not by bitching online about how very awful it is. You want a revolution? Try going a week without buying anything. Try getting relationships instead of likes. But no, it’s easier to scream into the void and call it resistance, isn’t it? The system thanks you for your compliance.

And certain people dismissing this topic with just “think of the children” is unhelpful. It dismisses real pain and hands over the conversation to the worst-faith actors, who are more than happy to fill the void with rage and simplification.

Fucking this. I have little doubt that OP is a lost cause and is just looking troll by "just asking questions" (as evidenced by the fact that he never responds to any genuine and rational comments and only goes for the cheap shots). But never forget that there are people reading these discussions who legitimately don't know or understand. If you have had the sufficient education and environment to learn these things before needing to ask about it online, you are privileged. The alt-right/MGTOW/nazi/etc. crowd have cultivating resentment in confused and sidelined young men down to a science. They are eager to provide their twisted answers with a seemingly loving embrace when the mainstream discussion dismisses the whole topic because it's something that you're just somehow magically supposed to know regardless of your background.

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/1053:_Ten_Thousand

Yeah I've seen it argued that people deeper in the spectrum have a strong sense of justice (for better or worse). Combined with the tendency to repeat patterns. Recipe for making certain memories very sticky. Still vulnerable to recursion though.

The idea that what we recall is "reality" is itself a myth. Every reflection of an experience you do is just that: a reflection. It's real in the same sense as a reflection on a mirror is real. Memory isn’t a static recording, it’s a reconstruction, shaped by every retelling, every emotional state, every new experience layered on top.

For me, this isn’t cynical at all, it’s liberating. Realizing that my past doesn’t have to define me, that it’s just an ever-degenerating narrative, was a relief. How I am in my body (even if it’s deterministic) has nothing to do with what I think or recall my past to be. People only call this cynical because we’re conditioned to believe we’re supposed to be some character with a fixed life story. Which is ironic, given how we’re also pressured to believe we’re never quite "good enough" as we are.

Think of it like a memory card game: even when you’re actively trying to remember where the matching pairs are, it’s difficult. Now, try memorizing every detail of how you experience your current surroundings, then leave the room and try to recall it. Unless your surroundings were exceptionally minimalistic, you’ll forget a crazy amount of it almost instantly (and hard sciences generally agree that the forgetting happens, they just disagree about the rate and amount of degeneration). So how sure can you be that memories from years ago are accurate? That doesn't mean that you can't cherish something from the past. Just be aware that at every recall, you probably remember a bit more of the memory of the memory, than the actual event. But you can cherish the thing that was worthy of cherishing during that time, as presumably you still cherish that thing.

And before some people get their knickers in a bunch, I have a diagnosis for C-PTSD. Meaning generally speaking, my nervous system functions in a way nervous systems subjected to extended adversity during childhood functions. There was a period where working through my narratives about the past was highly useful, and going to talk therapy about it was highly useful. I would never claim otherwise. But once I had dealt with that, I could start putting the narratives aside entirely. Because I happened to be called to get beyond just replacing the story about me as a victim of my past with another story about a survivor who overcame adversity. I'm not saying people "SHOULD" do that, but the option is there for those who WANT to do that. And the thing is, "the victim" often justifiably doesn't want to do that. I wanted justice, revenge, validation, acknowledgement and all that. I held on to my stories about my past for dear life. I would've told the me writing this to go fuck right off. But once I had worked through the stories as much as I needed to, I wanted to let them go (because I happened to also be someone with a lot of curiosity about the nature of reality and holding on to believing what I wanted to believe was counterproductive to that). I could not have let go of the stories, if I hadn't spent a considerable amount of time believing them. NURSING them.

And yes, I just spun a story about me for you. Or did that all really happen? Does it matter if it conveys something useful? Or does it just make you want to dismiss me as some tiresome armchair shrink who clearly needs better creative outlets than Lemmy.

Boy do I have news for you

https://www.hiddenbrain.org/podcast/did-that-really-happen/

https://www.nature.com/articles/s41562-023-01799-z

memories are recursive reconstructions. Memories of memories of memories and so on. Someone just posted this music video from björk the other day that illustrates it (and other things) pretty well.

While some memories (like traumatic ones) need addressing, it's generally advisable to not dwell too much on the past. It tends to surprisingly easily get to a point where people convince themselves that the past was so much better/worse than it actually was.