I work so hard to torture my metaphors with precision, and I’m honored when anyone notices. Thank you.

An elf is trying to deliver a very important warning, but is building up the preface to that warning so much, trying to provide a proper analogy for just how important the warning is, that he never actually gets to the point.

Honestly, watching the upvotes and downvotes chase each other on this one is thrilling.

Exactly! You get it.

This was apparently from a 1999 issue of Kerrang! at a time in which Daron Malakian would have indeed been around 23.

I got verified as a webcomic creator on r/funny long ago, and over the years it’s been a 50/50 shot whether my original content would get removed by an autofilter, at which point I would reach out to a mod, at which point my submission would maybe be restored hours after I submitted it, with no chance of getting any actual visibility because it never had a real chance when sorting by “new. “

Sometimes a mod tells me I can resubmit, but the timing of a submission matters, and if you’re outside of a good timeslot when you get permission to resubmit, it means less of a chance your submission will do well.

But if you risk waiting for another day, there’s no guarantee it won’t just happen again, and the mod that gave you permission to resubmit might not be working that day, and then you run the risk of some other mod thinking you’re a spammer, and you having to work it out again with them at the risk of a ban.

EDIT: According to at least one measure, my credit under this new system isn’t bad at all, so I’m without explanation for why this keeps happening.

The smiles are priceless, but the wall repair bill for tusk marks is higher than you’d expect.

That is correct. Thanks for asking!

I‘m rooting for them.

Draculas, Marios, and if you’re feeling bold enough for a postpositive adjective, Doms DeLuise

Thanks! I have a comedian friend who looks and sounds exactly like Joel Haver. I keep wanting to ask him if he’s Joel Haver, but I admittedly haven’t seen him since around the time Joel Haver got popular.

Bobby is going to be heartbroken. Please let him have this.